ModernaParker

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Modernaparker's favorite FMLs

Trumpets!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Bonita Springs

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's "Mambo Number 5" on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

agreeclassic 25 254

vote type 1 1 797

Get out of my way!

By ow my kidneys - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

agreeclassic 31 420

vote type 1 2 003

By Steve97 - 13/07/2015 04:15 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up and texted my girlfriend, "Good morning" like I do everyday. She responded with, "I'm dating somebody else". FML

agreeclassic 31 441

vote type 1 2 254

Steve97 app_comment_confession_title

Steve97 32

Tuesday 14 July 2015 1:57

Hey this is OP. I didn't know this got posted until looking at the new fml's. This happened this weekend a few days after my birthday no less. Part of it is my fault I've been working hard doing two jobs to save up enough money to hopefully move in with her someday. But this left me with barely little time to spend with her and she took it as me losing interest in her so she started dating someone else without me knowing and I didn't find out until she admitted it hours after I texted her. I still talk to her and she does feel terrible but whatever. Thanks to everyone for the support and I'm just taking it one day at a time now.

By Julianapilikusplatosophophes - 11/07/2015 03:49 - Australia - Kew

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

agreeclassic 30 964

vote type 1 2 885

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

agreeclassic 24 642

vote type 1 3 144