Today, in the middle of a localised drought, and an accompanying hosepipe ban, my mother has decided that she still needs to water her lawn. To balance out the water usage, she's placed a complete ban on the use of our shower until the weather lets up. FML
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Today, my mom revoked my shower privileges for a week, all because I'm “using too much water.” I'm the kind of person who will smell like garbage after one skipped shower. FML
Today, I had to water my entire garden. After an exhausting hour of watering hundreds of plants, I turned off the hose and started to feel good about the grueling job. That is, until it started pouring rain. FML
Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML
Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML
Today, I had to have a discussion with my 54-year-old mother about showering. She thinks it's perfectly OK to shower only once a week. FML
Today, my neighbour's boiler broke and flooded his home. To solve the problem, the water company shut off the neighbourhood's water supply while they fixed his boiler. I am now unable to shower, and I smell like a zoo animal. FML
Today, my water got cut off. The previous homeowners owed the water company over $300, and the company doesn't believe that I'm not them. The supervisor told me this will keep happening until I pay up. I need a shower. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I was asked by my live-in landlord not to put too much water in the kettle because it made the utility bills too high. This is the same woman who takes daily baths. FML
Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Protest by pissing on her grass, if she asks why just say you're "emptying the water cannon".
littlecuntcats 6
Your mom sounds like an idiot.
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Comments (90)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
She care more about the lawn that her and her family's hygiene? Go shove her face in your armpit. Problem solved.
tj4234 36
know something? I don't understand why they don't just improve the network of waterpipes in England... we have the same weather up here in Scotland as you guys in England do yet we've not had a hosepipe ban in years. FYL OP.
evilplatypus 39
When were their hose pipes put in and when were yours? If theirs are older, they could be naturally breaking down as things are prone to do. It can be very expensive replacing those old pipes. We've been getting a lot of water bursts in my area the last few years because our main pipes are all coming on their centennials.
tj4234 36
not sure, but I do believe our pipes in Scotland are better maintained than the English ones which are prone to leaking and bursting.
doodlecloud 27
The English pipes are really old but the council seems to think it would be a better idea to wait for holes to appear and then very slowly fix them instead of just laying down new pipes and preventing holes completely. : /
reddudeover 2
Am, I the only one that instantly though king of the hill?
pmr1990 12
Apparently, yes.
reddudeover 2
Forever alone. o.O
evilplatypus 39
Unfortunately, I thought of it, as well. One of the few episodes I've ever been able to sit through.
lepuppykicker 15
Don't worry. The whole time I was thinking of Bobby taking baths at Khan's house.
ICastillo 25
Well take the shampoo and soap and shower in the sprinklers
TarieBoo 2
giving the neighbors a good show
pinkpixie06 11
That's what I was thinking. Two birds, one stone...
I_Punch_Babies 7
throw some mud on her. surely she will want a shower then.
darth1 18
Kill the lawn, salt it or cover it in bleach. Tell her to water that.
SliceOfCake 9
That would waste more water.
ds100 1
The irony of the stupid hosepipe ban is that it rained most of April, straight after they introduced it!
CustardAndPie 13
It still amazes me that the UK ever actually calls a drought. I mean, ffs, it seems like it never stops raining.
FatTony2010 4
Kill her.
GaleIsHawt 5
Your mom will change her mind once she realizes how disgusting she will be in a few days. So no worries!