Animals: Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could...

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 437

You deserved it 79 578

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Same thing different taste

Great opener

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 20:14 - United States - Champlin

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 675

You deserved it 29 293

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 223

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 15:21 - United States - Dunkirk

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 689

You deserved it 937

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 187

You deserved it 3 505

Because of him

By whytho - 19/11/2019 03:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 362

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 196

You deserved it 4 521

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 178

You deserved it 40 079

Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 227

You deserved it 55 475

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 191

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 888

You deserved it 192

OcampoFTW 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

What do you do with your dogs...?

Comments

koverton91 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:35

You totally deserved

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:38

i tried to f**k your mum in the ass i tried to f**k your dad in the ass could only find the dog.... and his ass

Give_Linux_A_Go 28

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:41

double comment sorry guys. feel free to delete this, FML team

AllForMyGirl 3

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:47

Wow bro easy with the animal stuff... youre freaking me out :| jk lol that was Great hahah

Wheredidgrungego 12

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:54

....so what was the answer?

Lil_Killah 0

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:57

Why would u ask that?

StopDropNRoll 11

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:05

Your just not looking at it right. You are now the most popular kid at school. Bet everyone is talking about you champ ^_^

itaimumwiro 8

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:21

why the **** did u ask

SexyQueen0905 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:22

Hey after a question like that, I'm sure I would never forget you're name.

Sp00nerism 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:26

We have google for a reason OP

IGotNippleRings 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:27

Why the hell would you ever need to know that?

jennt89 10

Saturday 30 July 2011 13:30

Can you?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 131

You deserved it 5 932

Today, I was having sex with a girl when her parents decided to come home early. Trying to run out the back door I fell and broke my ankle. Not only did her former Navy Seal father find out I was banging his little princess, he drove me to the ER, alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 837

You deserved it 30 760

The Top

Today, my husband told me the only reason we're still together is because he can't afford to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I gave a beautiful book of baby names to a friend of mine who's been trying to get pregnant for a while. She just burst into tears when she saw it. Just before meeting me, she'd found out she was sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 295

You deserved it 7 268

Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 602

You deserved it 3 173

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 897

You deserved it 49 317

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 201

You deserved it 2 085

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 257

You deserved it 24 731