Animals: Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could...

By loser4life - 30/07/2011 04:38 - United States

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 446

You deserved it 79 666

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Same thing different taste

Great opener

By Anonymous - 17/05/2012 20:14 - United States - Champlin

Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated, "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 687

You deserved it 29 325

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 13/07/2016 15:21 - United States - Dunkirk

Today, thanks to puberty, I have an acne rash around my mouth. Rumors are already flying around school saying I have herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 710

You deserved it 948

By missTyfied - 25/08/2012 19:11 - Philippines - Sucat

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 3 514

Because of him

By whytho - 19/11/2019 03:00

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 525

You deserved it 370

By impure - 29/09/2014 16:48 - United States

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 255

You deserved it 4 538

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 14:25 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 40 119

Damn

By happybudiess - 14/10/2011 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 251

You deserved it 55 540

Stay safe, stay home

By Anonymous - 17/03/2020 05:30

Today, my professor gave me a huge lecture in front of the class about showing up sick, about how I was endangering the lives of other students, and kicked me out of class. As I left, everyone applauded. I'm not sick, but suffering for horrible allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 221

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 919

You deserved it 199

OcampoFTW 4

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

Need a moment? Chew it over with Twix!

GigaPudding_fml 24

Saturday 30 July 2011 12:08

What do you do with your dogs...?

Comments

Barriaultcory 16

Wednesday 19 December 2012 6:29

Words can not describe the silence followed by uncontrollable laughter that ensued

Akay4 14

Saturday 2 March 2013 4:52

Dafuq did I just read?

still_guns 16

Tuesday 26 March 2013 18:17

Oh my God! Classic! Just ******* classic!

SuperNavi64 9

Friday 14 June 2013 23:50

This is why we google things.

Euronymous93 29

Saturday 10 August 2013 22:34

How did you not deserve this?

XxQuartersxX 14

Saturday 7 September 2013 17:32

Are you mentally impaired?

geez9311 11

Sunday 15 September 2013 21:32

....and what did you expect when that question came outta your mouth?

dannnngthatsux 19

Wednesday 26 November 2014 0:03

Yes you can.Not as many as humans. But maybe Mrs. Dog did the mamba on his leg and he was worried about her getting pregnant! (Or him?)

doge71 8

Friday 13 February 2015 20:04

Do you feel the need to be popular?

fantasyworld 37

Saturday 25 April 2015 14:27

Were you trying to be funny or something?

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The Top

Today, I learned when you're babysitting a 5 year-old, and you hear the toilet flush, then the words "Uh oh", it's already too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 688

You deserved it 6 897

Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 198

You deserved it 61 007

Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 980

You deserved it 5 290

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 320

You deserved it 35 538

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 763

You deserved it 4 188

Today, after 5 years, an engagement, and me being 5 months pregnant, my boyfriend downloaded Tinder again. 2020 is really great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 288