Intimacy: Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding....

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 8 319

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Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 3 403

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 929

You deserved it 4 396

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 852

You deserved it 219

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 015

You deserved it 1 379

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 719

You deserved it 2 391

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 054

You deserved it 3 381

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 183

You deserved it 4 270

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 434

You deserved it 6 570

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 752

You deserved it 37 420

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 183

You deserved it 3 475

VVeetard 8

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

victoriaax3 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

Atleast it wasn't a hobo .

Comments

USAF_girl 3

Thursday 31 March 2011 20:34

It's not that bad. I made my husband try it when I was pregnant. lol He said it didn't taste good. haha

USAF_girl 3

Thursday 31 March 2011 20:35

It's not that bad. I made my husband try it when I was pregnant. lol He said it didn't taste good. haha

boobyhill 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 21:47

does your boyfriend also insist on wearing diapers as a form of role-playing?

HeyItsJoe 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 22:38

I can see that as a motive. Curiosity, early in the morning, you get to thinkin... yeah.

KiddingKitty 5

Friday 1 April 2011 2:17

My boyfriend said he'll do the same thing to me... Now I'm unsure if I want to be pregnant. lol

Deitsu 1

Friday 1 April 2011 3:01

Umm...creepy? Not only is that man sucking on 9 month old breasts, but from a 9 month old BOY's breasts, and he has a girlfriend, who I'm sure could have tested that experiment out with him instead of playing the pedophile. Sorry but that REALLY creeped me out. Tell your boyfriend not to do that with the boy. If anything. ******* sickos...

Yarrachel 16

Friday 1 April 2011 3:46

What are you talking about? The boyfriend didn't do anything to the baby! He drank the OP's breast milk.

karina02 9

Friday 1 April 2011 4:09

karina02 9

Friday 1 April 2011 4:11

I agree with #307. I think you might of read the FML wrong. or, your on crack.

CarLover27 0

Friday 1 April 2011 4:26

can I try too?

dansco 24

Friday 1 April 2011 4:35

That is sooo wrong! Your boyfriend has some serious Mummy issues! And why would you think that it was your baby when you woke up? Does your boyfriend just put the baby there too?!