Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
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Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
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Comments (365)
USAF_girl 3
It's not that bad. I made my husband try it when I was pregnant. lol He said it didn't taste good. haha
USAF_girl 3
It's not that bad. I made my husband try it when I was pregnant. lol He said it didn't taste good. haha
boobyhill 0
does your boyfriend also insist on wearing diapers as a form of role-playing?
HeyItsJoe 0
I can see that as a motive. Curiosity, early in the morning, you get to thinkin... yeah.
KiddingKitty 5
My boyfriend said he'll do the same thing to me... Now I'm unsure if I want to be pregnant. lol
Deitsu 1
Umm...creepy? Not only is that man sucking on 9 month old breasts, but from a 9 month old BOY's breasts, and he has a girlfriend, who I'm sure could have tested that experiment out with him instead of playing the pedophile. Sorry but that REALLY creeped me out. Tell your boyfriend not to do that with the boy. If anything. ******* sickos...
Yarrachel 16
What are you talking about? The boyfriend didn't do anything to the baby! He drank the OP's breast milk.
karina02 9
Y
karina02 9
I agree with #307. I think you might of read the FML wrong. or, your on crack.
CarLover27 0
can I try too?
dansco 24
That is sooo wrong! Your boyfriend has some serious Mummy issues! And why would you think that it was your baby when you woke up? Does your boyfriend just put the baby there too?!