Intimacy: Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding....

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 607

You deserved it 8 318

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Same thing different taste

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 746

You deserved it 3 398

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 925

You deserved it 4 395

Bittie

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 14:02 - Hungary - Sopron

Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 219

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 010

You deserved it 1 379

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 713

You deserved it 2 391

By Anonymous - 20/10/2012 08:42 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 041

You deserved it 3 378

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 169

You deserved it 4 267

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 424

You deserved it 6 569

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 16:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 745

You deserved it 37 410

By notyourmummy - 12/11/2015 09:09 - United Kingdom - Ryde

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 159

You deserved it 3 465

VVeetard 8

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...

victoriaax3 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 0:15

Atleast it wasn't a hobo .

Comments

marissabunge23 0

Friday 8 April 2011 4:14

damnnnn! :)

marissabunge23 0

Friday 8 April 2011 4:16

#56 you are really pretty!

karmicsamadi86 9

Friday 8 April 2011 16:04

So wait, you fell asleep whilst nursing?! otherwise why would you think it was the baby!

boycrazy30007 12

Saturday 5 November 2011 18:50

It's called cosleeping. The baby was probably in bed with her. It strengthens bonds and makes midnight feedings easier

LifeSucks974 0

Friday 24 June 2011 13:11

lmao!!! sucks go u luv

levraea 0

Friday 1 July 2011 7:44

what the hell

Groc_live 2

Friday 19 August 2011 19:39

lmao.. im guessing you dropped his ass for that comment :P

iDollyLoveDove 0

Monday 22 August 2011 0:16

I would've Been Like WOAHH THERE BOY!

Hisfav1 6

Wednesday 7 September 2011 20:20

Ewwwww

missbadluk 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:54

Sooooo your 9 month old sleeps In your bed and somehow maneuvers his way to the nipple and starts sucking on it whenever he wants to. (in other words, theres no way you "woke up to what I thought was my 9month old")