Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
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Top comments
zerk211 4
damn I need a penis extension one of these days, the old 3-incher just isn't cutting it anymore
ZombieBunnies 0
Id give him a high five cuz that's a really small target.
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Comments (39)
jackoffasaurusRe 0
how small is his dick that an ash tray looks like an urinal? very.
fairies633 8
well u shouldn't be smoking anyway
lynsieloowho 0
ahh druken boyfriends. ha I remembered one time mine almost peed on the corner of our bedroom. I woke up just in time to stop him. another time I woke up and he was naked on the couch. lol. good times
hawkie409 0
Maybe the ashtray was limited edition and not being used? Or maybe a passed-away reletive had used it or gave it to him? There are tons of ways this could be an FML, especially since the pee wouldve gotten everywhere after the ashtray filled up..
blastvortex 4
Why would you (A) give your boyfriend a key and/or (B) let your boyfriend share your living quarters? There is nothing about this story that doesn't scream, "YDI."
doglover101 0
ewwwwww
shawty4life16 0
I wld have been pissed
Dylan420z 4
I could understand why he thought the ashtray was a urinal........
Hangryko 32
God, I hope you dumped him.