Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
Today, I woke up, got up, and felt something crunchy under my feet. My son thought it would be funny if he spread cat litter all around the house. Used cat litter. FML
Today, I found thousands of ants in a secret nest in an unused corner of my apartment. They were feeding on the baking mix I forgot in a box from moving in two months ago, and the queen has been laying her eggs on my wireless router. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had barfed all over my laptop's keyboard and screen, filling each nook and cranny of the stuff. As if that wasn't bad enough, when I went to make coffee to deal with the stress, I found that I was out of coffee. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML
Today, I was woken up at 5:15 AM to the lovely sounds of my cat barfing in three different places on my bedroom carpet. FML
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
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Top comments
jenzan 8
FOR SPARTA!
DudeImBetter 0
All you need now is a colony of acid-shooting termites to kill off all the ants except for one of coarse and you should name him Z.
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Comments (114)
Femtrooper 0
Sounds Epic.
oneyedcat 0
use your boobs dumbass. always clean (unless you're a crack ho) and the cats can TRY to get in there, but they can't. breast is best.
tablecat 0
Good. **** that disgusting shit, I wish it cost more.
msmandy 0
well this is obviously fake because all the black ants in america are part of the same colony when they were accidentally imported here.. so fake.. sorry
Allstarr23 1
YDI for having a cat
lifesluck 0
or in my case and many many others....we are not encouraged to breast feed foster or adopted babes. open your mind more.
oneyedcat 0
foster babies ok, but women who adopt can induce lactation with herbal supplements and pumping. it's a pretty simple thing to do. one good breastpump costs the same as that $35 can of formula.
Chaotic_Shadow 0
I must say, I've.seen 2 rollypollies do the dirty while sitting on a park bench. but an ant war!!! I'm definatly jealous
Chaotic_Shadow 0
I must say, I've.seen 2 rollypollies do the dirty while sitting on a park bench. but an ant war!!! I'm definatly jealous
GoArmy6624 7
you should video tape it!!
BWill9014 4
1 made me lol