Intimacy: Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing...

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 502

You deserved it 3 881

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Same thing different taste

By Nighty-nitrogen - 10/05/2016 00:07 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was trying to sleep, when I felt someone rattling my bed from underneath. Petrified from shock, I lied there for what felt like hours, waiting for a murderer to spring out. I must've finally fallen asleep, and when I woke up in the morning, I found out it was a minor earthquake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 517

You deserved it 1 865

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 182

You deserved it 53 393

But I didn't! I wasn't!

By I didn't though - 10/09/2015 04:07 - United States

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 358

You deserved it 47 176

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:25 - United States

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 299

You deserved it 2 677

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 695

You deserved it 3 985

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 422

You deserved it 739

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 12 082

By 44haley44 - 12/07/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 726

You deserved it 57 235

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I woke up and rolled out of bed. I'm on the top mattress of a bunk bed. We have tile floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 798

You deserved it 8 678

redbluegreen 40

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:27

So, did you hop in his bunk afterwards.... And take in the aftershocks?

MadeOfAwesome 1

Sunday 30 August 2009 7:30

Apparently it's never too early in the morning to pleasure yourself

Comments

plexico 3

Sunday 30 August 2009 11:40

First earthquake, huh? If you left the guy alone, you could have experienced your first volcano, too.

repyourcliche 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:11

Dammmit! Beat me to it.

plexico 3

Sunday 30 August 2009 17:07

I'm glad to see we're on the same wavelength. Welcome to the "Plexi Side." ;) I knew you'd come around.

ABbaby 10

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:41

Nice Plexico finally a funny comment after a whole bunch of 'blah'

LocoChaz006 0

Monday 31 August 2009 11:10

LOL! You're disgusting, mate!

kenjiisown 1

Sunday 30 August 2009 12:09

YDI for not helping him.

liveandletlive89 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:16

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

FozzieGirl 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 12:29

The FML is having to share a room with someone who's neither sibling nor lover. After that, masturbation is just detail.

supermike33 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 12:31

YDI for going to bed.

Aeval_Fae 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 12:55

He must've been going to TOWN on himself to shake you awake like that... good for him. It was worse for him IMO though, all that concentration on the.. ahem.. task at hand.. and you come FLYING from the top bunk staring at him like a terrified maniac. Awkward much? Imagine the poor guy trying to finish after that!!

ABbaby 10

Sunday 30 August 2009 23:43

another epic WIN!!!! lmao

liveandletlive89 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 13:19

This has nothing to do with your situation, but, I never spelt ********** right as a child. Anyways, you're just dumb. Jerking off is normal, nothing gross or wrong with it as long as it's not near you. I think a few feet in height constitutes as enough space. Gtfoi.

IFUCKINLOVETEA 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 14:13

are you serious? a few FEET in height?! thats fucken sick man. Never ever should it be allowed in the same room as some1. Jeez what kind of creep are you?

filtration 0

Monday 31 August 2009 10:47

... so no circle jerkin? cmonnnn, an arms length (out of blasting range) should be enough space.

Rixe_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 15:34

You sleep in a bunk bed? How old are you? 5?

dnbt 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 16:02

A lot of colleges have bunk beds.

Rixe_fml 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 20:14

SAD!

iFruit 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 15:40

LMAO LMAO LMAO .

iTzSaLaD 0

Sunday 30 August 2009 16:14

oh jesus..too many typical frat boy words in one confined area XD dude, bro, man, bro. That is an average of 1.333 "fratties.." the acceptable limit is .5. please be respectful to us normal people, ok ''Brah?"