Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
angrygood 0
Wow... Never happened to me.
oboewhore_xD 6
What did you name it? :D
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Comments (162)
ajilocks 0
hahahha. thats really funny no offense. i have two questions: are you transgender? 2: is your bf gay?
MichaelDePatron7 0
I had that same dream. wait -- no when I woke up it came true. I've always had one
barcelona49 0
at least he was starting at him
see1992 0
lmao!
kejzawn1 4
LoL...I wonder what I said.
tayza249 20
Well that's not really that unusual. Sigmund Freud claimed that women envyed men and wished to have a penis.. and that some women used to believe that their penis was cut off and that's why they bleed every month. Strange, the things you learn in psychology class :)
ElMundio87 0
Sigmund Freud's work has pretty much no credibility amongst modern psychologists just sayin'
monnanon 14
Sigmund Freud also believed that all men lusted after their mothers (oedipal complex) but that there was no chance of an Electra complex (girl lusting after father) He also believed that a small boys fears of horses was not because he saw a horse fall and die in front of him but was actually a fear that his dad would castrate him because he was a love rival for his mother. Did you know that penis envy is also the reason women smoke according to Freud, I wonder why men smoke then lol.
Vayt 2
Not a single thing Freud postulated was based on empirically-gathered data, or any sort of evidence at all. No respected psychologist actually believes any of Freud's theories. Strange, the things you learn in a psychology class above the 100-level.
laughingman 0
http://cdn.leasticoulddo.com/comics/20100904.gif
molil_4810 0
#9 one on the right in blue top looks like angelina Jolie ..
SavageFrenchFri 0
holy shit this is a fail.8=====D~~~O: (_(_)
uwishucouldfyl 0
I bet ur sleep talk wasn't the only reason he was starring