Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to find out I'd had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything because apparently I talked throughout my dream, and she was right next to me listening. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
angrygood 0
Wow... Never happened to me.
oboewhore_xD 6
What did you name it? :D
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Comments (162)
jordiecakes 0
lmao. (:
TristanBlk 0
you have the same exact bday as me #14
i_wuz_nver_here 31
are you sure he's straight?
machiko_fml 0
wow, maybe you're transgender?
sharmen 0
That's really not something to joke about.
MetalFish 0
#38 this is the Internet, there are no rules! :)
Snackycakes 0
Sorry, where was the joke again?
colleen2920 0
it's a dream, it means nothing. I had a dream in which I died. it was several years ago and I'm still here
o_trevino92 0
colleen2920 died shortly after her comment was posted
kylinjade 0
48- that just made my day.
RoccoRox 0
do you feel like a boy, trapped in a womans body?
ngyh 0
show him that you don't have.... that will clear your name. LOL
ilive4drama 0
hahahaha lmfaoo I laughed at this one!
bumbleB_tuna 0
i hate you
mick3yx123x 0
i love bumble bee, bumble bee tuna, i love bumble bee, bumble bee tuuuna :)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Really, it's only an FML if he had a boner & was licking his lips while staring. He was wasn't he. Licking his lips I mean. Cmon. You can tell us.
bumbleB_tuna 0
thank you dr phil #18 bcuz i could have sworn that every dream when i was ******* pamela anderson.. i was actually ******* her! weird.