Anonymous
New Zealand
Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Fail
Steele, United States
Not a night owl
Today, I woke up at the ungodly hour of 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom. It was of course quite dark, and unbeknownst to me, the door was closed. I walked into it. Then I tried to open it, missed the door knob, and walked into the door again. FML
something
Today, I was walking home from school and my stupid brother who comes earlier then me locked the storm door. I ended up trying every other door for 3 hours in below freezing temperature. I was numb everywhere. I rang the bell and my brother opened it. He was home the whole time. FML
makeyourselfathome
Richmond, Australia
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
vinniesuckmadack
United States
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
rhplb
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Anonymous
Stoney Creek, Canada
Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML
anonymous
Canada
Occam's razor
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
blackvogue
Canada
Classic
Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML
Anonymous
Eugene, United States
Sorry guys, please don't hurt me
Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML
Top comments
ceinaworus 0
so, I'm going for the most negative comment on FML. rate this as negative please : ) thanks everybody! but seriously, I don't want any positive rate shit going on.
j_cat187 19
with the steel toe, how you feel though, with my foot cramed up ur ass like a *****.
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Comments (65)
CitrusGirl 0
Curb stomp!
freakincage 0
hahaha goodone
woahbro2slow 0
that's why your house has lights
88sforlife 0
ouuch !
Mr_Alex 5
open your damn eyes or use your brain and turn lights on?!?
hubla 0
open your eyes look up to the skyscraper and see
hubla 0
*skys damn auto correct
Katie_the_Great 6
So after you kick his ass, You... kick it again!
Hotlanta 5
agreed, but instead of kicking his ass he should just kick his shins with those bad boys.
LaughterofCorn 4
Late night snacking eh? Well those boots taught you a lesson about stealing Oreos from the family.
Nyolia 11
Who wears boots at night in their house?
j_cat187 19
i do
thebestof1984 0
I do too.
bentleyGCspeed 0
I do, thrice.
bentleyGCspeed 0
I do, thrice.
bentleyGCspeed 0
I do, thrice.
SteelCladAngel 0
people just getting home from work or partying people who are insomniacs and wander all night both inside and outside...and most people wear some sort of footwear outside lol
every1luvsvag 10
C-c-c combo breaker!
bengermin 5
...and THAT'S why I always wear diapers.
jayalexander 7
who wears steel toed boots at 4 in the morning? i sense a very disturbing fantasy.....
thebestof1984 0
I do but at 3:00 in the morning!
ItsAllBeenDone 0
it's totally normal to wear steel toe boots in the kitchen at three in the morning. everybody does it. but at for in the morning? that's just ridiculous.
jayalexander 7
ahhh but not for ops brother... he might've been trying to seduce for his crazy pleasure...
ItsAllBeenDone 0
ahh good point. maybe he was naked, but he feels self conscious about his feet so he was wearing his boots.
iLoVeMY55 0
haha that must be it
dusthawg 4
I wear my steel toe boots in the morning cause that's when I start shift
thebestof1984 0
I work at the airport at 4am so I wear them that early!