By makeyourselfathome - Australia - Richmond
Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
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  brand125  |  17

44 - well he didnt mean to (assuming it was an accident, other commenters dont think so), since he thought it was just a robber. and his roomate pays rent too (again, just assuming), so he has no right to kick him out if its his place too

  tashb  |  17

I think this was definitely what happened. Now I know what excuse to use when I feel like punching people. Thanks OP you're the best!

  cjwayy  |  22

omgz lyk ya that was sooo funny!!11! so adorbz cray cray omgomg lol fml !!11!!1 *cat emoji* omg im literally like s0 random nd spontaneous lolol omg.

Jesus Christ learn to communicate properly.

  chinaski7628  |  32

34-- Learn to use commas. Unless you're giving Jesus Christ a direct order, your comment should read "Jesus Christ, learn to communicate properly'. Jesus Christ, commas aren't that difficult.

By  AnyaS  |  19

Actually there was a case in 2011 where a man broke into a house and took a shower. He even called the police on the owners who arrived home afraid they had guns.

  cakefete2  |  30

There was a case recently where the burglar decided to take a nap on the victim's bed. The maid came in and called the cops. The police arrived, took pictures of the criminal sleeping on the bed with his bag of loot, woke him up, and then arrested him.

  juststephhere  |  23

Um, that's kinda not his fault...If he does that every morning, I'm sure his flatmate would sleep through it... He probably just woke up himself... "Sigh... Stupid people..."

  brand125  |  17

7 - are you fucking stupid? (assuming your not sarcastic). he HAD to work that early and just got ready, cant skip out on work because its too early for the other roomate, who should know it happens every morning. not like he was partying into the early morning and being loud, what do you expect for them to get a differnt job over this? wow the dumbness....

  RecklessLove  |  18

Oh wow -__-. I totally read this wrong. I thought it said you should've woken him up. Like, if they woke up the roommate he would've known it was them and not burglar.

By  Joshwarrior  |  39

I bet you were wide awake for work that morning (: hope there was no serious injury and next time carry a bat(pepper spray might be better no lethal injury Haha) with you in the mornings lol your roomate will learn


I'm sure that "bear the snot out of me" means that there was at least some serious bruising, probably even cuts. The kind of look you don't go to work with.

To the OP, I hope the police were called 'cause that behavior is definitely not on and charges can be laid.

By  Aquaman911  |  18

Burglars do the strangest of things, especially in recent years. I'm not surprised he thought you were one but still, FYL op, its time for revenge >:)