By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 491
You deserved it 3 019

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cjwayy 22

You'd think that they'd recognize you as they were punching you in the face.

Can't blame him. He must have thought you to be one of those burglars who like to make a clean getaway.


i8cake 12

Is Oscar Pistorius your flat mate? Sorry mate!

maybe when he took a shit this morning it smelled so bad it messed up his roomate's head. idk. next time just dont wake him up!

if that was your flat i hope you kicked him out.

@39, don't you think that's a bit extreme?

How is kicking someone out of your home for brutally assaulting you extreme?

44 - well he didnt mean to (assuming it was an accident, other commenters dont think so), since he thought it was just a robber. and his roomate pays rent too (again, just assuming), so he has no right to kick him out if its his place too

incoherentrmblr 21

Did you burn the toast?...

cjwayy 22

You'd think that they'd recognize you as they were punching you in the face.

AnOriginalName 19

Or the roommate just really wanted to punch OP in the face and "I thought you were a burglar" was a handy excuse...

I think this was definitely what happened. Now I know what excuse to use when I feel like punching people. Thanks OP you're the best!

It was probably dark in the room since it was 4:30am

cooltatgar 31

What a nice burglar you are :)

I bet your flat mate had some beef with you and used that excuse to get away with beating you up.

Can't blame him. He must have thought you to be one of those burglars who like to make a clean getaway.

omg that was so funny ily

cjwayy 22

omgz lyk ya that was sooo funny!!11! so adorbz cray cray omgomg lol fml !!11!!1 *cat emoji* omg im literally like s0 random nd spontaneous lolol omg. Jesus Christ learn to communicate properly.

Holy crap. Calm down, #34....

#34, was that the straw that broke the camel's back? Or did you just have a seizure while typing?

i never did understand why people say "i love you" to strangers. if a funny comment is all it takes to make someone fall in love with you...

34 - you have issues

simplysarcastics 26

#40 We don't mean it literally because as you know, we do not love these hoes..

34-- Learn to use commas. Unless you're giving Jesus Christ a direct order, your comment should read "Jesus Christ, learn to communicate properly'. Jesus Christ, commas aren't that difficult.

Commas are also used when addressing someone directly. Were you telling Jesus Christ that commas aren't that difficult, chinaski?

#34 drake- wooah man take it easy

cjwayy 22

I've had a bad day, sorry. I know how to use commas, I just don't think it's really necessary online.

AnyaS 19

Actually there was a case in 2011 where a man broke into a house and took a shower. He even called the police on the owners who arrived home afraid they had guns.

There was a case recently where the burglar decided to take a nap on the victim's bed. The maid came in and called the cops. The police arrived, took pictures of the criminal sleeping on the bed with his bag of loot, woke him up, and then arrested him.

um, thats kind of your fault. i mean, maybe you shouldn't have woken him up? lol sigh. *stupid people*

RecklessLove 18

I'd be pretty pissed if someone woke me up at 4:30 am...

juststephhere 23

Um, that's kinda not his fault...If he does that every morning, I'm sure his flatmate would sleep through it... He probably just woke up himself... "Sigh... Stupid people..."

7 - are you fucking stupid? (assuming your not sarcastic). he HAD to work that early and just got ready, cant skip out on work because its too early for the other roomate, who should know it happens every morning. not like he was partying into the early morning and being loud, what do you expect for them to get a differnt job over this? wow the dumbness....

*you're before anyone corrects me

RecklessLove 18

Oh wow -__-. I totally read this wrong. I thought it said you should've woken him up. Like, if they woke up the roommate he would've known it was them and not burglar.

I bet you were wide awake for work that morning (: hope there was no serious injury and next time carry a bat(pepper spray might be better no lethal injury Haha) with you in the mornings lol your roomate will learn

I'm sure that "bear the snot out of me" means that there was at least some serious bruising, probably even cuts. The kind of look you don't go to work with. To the OP, I hope the police were called 'cause that behavior is definitely not on and charges can be laid.

Burglars do the strangest of things, especially in recent years. I'm not surprised he thought you were one but still, FYL op, its time for revenge >:)

im sorry op hopefully he stopped after he reliazed, otherwise you have a whole different problem and he just doesnt like you.