By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 514
You deserved it 3 025
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Top comments

cjwayy 22

You'd think that they'd recognize you as they were punching you in the face.

162 3
sarkaar 30

Can't blame him. He must have thought you to be one of those burglars who like to make a clean getaway.

127 5

Comments

i8cake 12

Is Oscar Pistorius your flat mate? Sorry mate!

118 4
pizzarollsyum 13

maybe when he took a shit this morning it smelled so bad it messed up his roomate's head. idk. next time just dont wake him up!

2 32
noah_1234 24

if that was your flat i hope you kicked him out.

3 12
gracehi 31

How is kicking someone out of your home for brutally assaulting you extreme?

17 1
brand125 17

44 - well he didnt mean to (assuming it was an accident, other commenters dont think so), since he thought it was just a robber. and his roomate pays rent too (again, just assuming), so he has no right to kick him out if its his place too

0 5
incoherentrmblr 21

Did you burn the toast?...

2 0
cjwayy 22

You'd think that they'd recognize you as they were punching you in the face.

162 3
AnOriginalName 19

Or the roommate just really wanted to punch OP in the face and "I thought you were a burglar" was a handy excuse...

64 2
tashb 17

I think this was definitely what happened. Now I know what excuse to use when I feel like punching people. Thanks OP you're the best!

18 2
redstone7693 29

It was probably dark in the room since it was 4:30am

3 0
cooltatgar 31

What a nice burglar you are :)

49 7
ZoroMiHawk 25

I bet your flat mate had some beef with you and used that excuse to get away with beating you up.

74 5
sarkaar 30

Can't blame him. He must have thought you to be one of those burglars who like to make a clean getaway.

127 5
cjwayy 22

omgz lyk ya that was sooo funny!!11! so adorbz cray cray omgomg lol fml !!11!!1 *cat emoji* omg im literally like s0 random nd spontaneous lolol omg. Jesus Christ learn to communicate properly.

18 46
kinky44 28

#34, was that the straw that broke the camel's back? Or did you just have a seizure while typing?

29 1
foxwasalamb 24

i never did understand why people say "i love you" to strangers. if a funny comment is all it takes to make someone fall in love with you...

22 4
simplysarcastics 26

#40 We don't mean it literally because as you know, we do not love these hoes..

9 3
chinaski7628 32

34-- Learn to use commas. Unless you're giving Jesus Christ a direct order, your comment should read "Jesus Christ, learn to communicate properly'. Jesus Christ, commas aren't that difficult.

16 1
Nymeria_fml 25

Commas are also used when addressing someone directly. Were you telling Jesus Christ that commas aren't that difficult, chinaski?

5 3
cjwayy 22

I've had a bad day, sorry. I know how to use commas, I just don't think it's really necessary online.

2 5
AnyaS 19

Actually there was a case in 2011 where a man broke into a house and took a shower. He even called the police on the owners who arrived home afraid they had guns.

61 2
cakefete2 30

There was a case recently where the burglar decided to take a nap on the victim's bed. The maid came in and called the cops. The police arrived, took pictures of the criminal sleeping on the bed with his bag of loot, woke him up, and then arrested him.

41 1
pizzarollsyum 13

um, thats kind of your fault. i mean, maybe you shouldn't have woken him up? lol sigh. *stupid people*

2 15
RecklessLove 18

I'd be pretty pissed if someone woke me up at 4:30 am...

3 7
juststephhere 23

Um, that's kinda not his fault...If he does that every morning, I'm sure his flatmate would sleep through it... He probably just woke up himself... "Sigh... Stupid people..."

10 0
brand125 17

7 - are you ******* stupid? (assuming your not sarcastic). he HAD to work that early and just got ready, cant skip out on work because its too early for the other roomate, who should know it happens every morning. not like he was partying into the early morning and being loud, what do you expect for them to get a differnt job over this? wow the dumbness....

2 0
RecklessLove 18

Oh wow -__-. I totally read this wrong. I thought it said you should've woken him up. Like, if they woke up the roommate he would've known it was them and not burglar.

0 0
Joshwarrior 39

I bet you were wide awake for work that morning (: hope there was no serious injury and next time carry a bat(pepper spray might be better no lethal injury Haha) with you in the mornings lol your roomate will learn

3 19
False_Stupidity 41

I'm sure that "bear the snot out of me" means that there was at least some serious bruising, probably even cuts. The kind of look you don't go to work with. To the OP, I hope the police were called 'cause that behavior is definitely not on and charges can be laid.

3 4
Aquaman911 18

Burglars do the strangest of things, especially in recent years. I'm not surprised he thought you were one but still, FYL op, its time for revenge >:)

8 7
shortnsweet00 14

im sorry op hopefully he stopped after he reliazed, otherwise you have a whole different problem and he just doesnt like you.

4 7