Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML
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The chamber of secrets has opened!
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Comments (142)
Lalala579121 28
Maybe your best friend put a walkie talkie in the wall.
GhastlyLeek 11
Did you at least wipe?
fallen_dragonkin 12
that is awful. not what i want to read when i'm already terrified about being alone in the house and attempting to sleep every night with the lights and radio on.
Omniprism 15
I would have checked for some device or something. Also you could have still been half asleep.
rocketman9mm 5
Hopefully sleepiness caused it and not scitzophrenia. I know that can't be spelled right
BlackBoyFly 11
Have you considered an exorcism?
Britt125 16
It's probably just your mind playing tricks on you. Not uncommon at night, especially if you're waking up and are still half asleep. I know the vent in my bathroom picks up noises from outside, it could have been something like that and your mind just tricked you into think it was your name. If you live in some kind of apartment maybe you heard noise from a neighbouring unit. Even if nothing is on the side of the wall it came from it may have just been a trick that it came from there too. I wouldn't worry about it, the mind is just good at tricking us.
jakeyjakey1232 9
Follow up, op?
Ejderha 0
does your fart sound like your name? maybe you let your name fly?
deepikaarchie 13
U must have just hallucinated ..