Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, my boyfriend died. I was crying in my room when I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was my mom coming to comfort me, but instead she yelled and screamed at me for doing the dishes wrong. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
Megalomania_fml 0
It's your moms fault for not telling you about her new boyfriend. I'd do the same.
adjacent 2
Mom: hmm I think its a good idea to let this big burglar looking guy in the house without my childrens knowledge, obviously they'll know its my BF!
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Comments (103)
alyssa_briana 0
lmfaao ; thats tooo funny . soundss like something i would do .
chaywood13 0
i think it proves he has good reflexes, and common sense.
Y2KPacious 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
jansdo 1
At least he won't dare molest you.
undesKriptive17 0
dammmmm:/ lol did u atleast put da vase back where u got it from?? lmfao
Ynunez 3
haha xD damn sucks to be him :P
zebraface 15
awesome
JenL_fml 7
Who says Karl is a girl? o.O
chaywood13 0
hey, at least you didn't call the cops on him. THEN she would've been mad.
meeba 2
hows this an FML? mor like an LOL
takemewithy0u 0
That's what she gets for dating! You showed them!!!
taradeborde87 3
Seriously?!