Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, my boyfriend died. I was crying in my room when I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was my mom coming to comfort me, but instead she yelled and screamed at me for doing the dishes wrong. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
Megalomania_fml 0
It's your moms fault for not telling you about her new boyfriend. I'd do the same.
adjacent 2
Mom: hmm I think its a good idea to let this big burglar looking guy in the house without my childrens knowledge, obviously they'll know its my BF!
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Comments (103)
sashie91 5
haha that's a good one
bnwranbo 2
Today I was in the kitchen of my new girlfriend's house (even though I asked her to make the sammich) when I was suddenly hit over the head with a vase. Apparently she didn't tell her kid about me. FML.
vettle 6
this is what I was thinking more
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
lol good 1!
Brutalsecurity 4
Ha. Lucky it wasn't me, I would've pulled my 12 gauge on him. But seriously, you did the right thing
Itstherealjen 0
I think you are brave^ _ ^
fizzypop14 3
poor vase
thelastavailable 13
Easy mistake.
cryssycakesx3 23
like his mom!
ladybug108 0
I would have done the same.
Zebidee 9
Once again - it's damn lucky you didn't have a gun in the house.
truehitman2010 0
YOU B*TCH THERE BETTER NOT HAVE BEEN FLOWERS IN THERE!!!
rattusrattus 19
That's what the mum said.
JenL_fml 7
Uhh...oops?
xalerion 0
29- ah.. Excalibur... sigh... that is all..