Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
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Top comments
michiganfool32 9
Well go rob him for your money back. Apparently it's pretty easy.
simsimbeep 13
And you didn't do anything either....?
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Comments (50)
kittymisfit 13
I've got a friend who is a tae kwon do black belt, a ju jitsu yellow belt, and used to be an instructor. She's great in matches, but when confronted in a real-life situation, she can't cope. I think it's a common thing, being unable to translate what happens inside the dojo to a real-world use of these skills. It sucks for your instructor, but it's not an indicator of his skills or of the martial arts education you are receiving from him. It's important to keep in mind that the dojo is a controlled environment, and you should not expect to react on the street as you would in a classroom.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
You could have said that before the instructor got robbed and cried...
KaneHunter 22
I can say as someone who's taken karate and tae Kwon do that karate really doesn't teach you how to defend yourself especially for that situation. I'd look somewhere else especially if he's that big of a whimp. And I think OP was far to distracted by his reaction to even help
reilyn 10
I wouldn't say its a waste. Think of it this way, he taught you skills to defend yourself. Just because he didn't use them doesn't mean that they won't help you. Now if he tried and got his ass handed to him then I'd be worried.
REXOCREED 4
Yeah, you spent it in karate lessons, the Dane Cook of mixed martial arts.
The_Waffletime 1
Give them your shit then hit them from behind
The_Waffletime 1
This is also a great reason why you should carry a gun if you are trained to the point where that weapon is an extension of your body you will use it to react
ProZombieSkills 4
Hahah
kybon 12
Just because you know the martial art doesnt mean you have the nerve to use it
peterblackmer91 12
Has he taught you karate? Are you able to defend yourself?? If so then it doesn't matter if he's a wimp.