Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML
Today, I found out that my mom withdrew me from karate at the insistence of my my fucking stepdad, who's a wimpy sissy pacifist who is against violence. I was so close to getting my black belt. FML
Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at Tae kwon do practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear." He did this in front of all my classmates. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML
Today, my own dog bit me quite severely when I was in the middle of teaching a dog obedience class. Everyone had a good laugh at me and in the past few hours 4 of them have contacted me to let me know they won't be attending future lessons and that they'd like to get their money back. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
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Top comments
michiganfool32 9
Well go rob him for your money back. Apparently it's pretty easy.
simsimbeep 13
And you didn't do anything either....?
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Comments (50)
Axel5238 29
Martial arts has rules and regulations and will condition you. There are a few martial arts that will teach you to disarm someone using a gun or knife, but you are better complying with the mugger. The money can be replaced and isn't worth your life or putting someone else's life at risk.
expertsmilee 26
Energizer or Duracell?
PegLegRacing 34
I don't see how this is relevant. Just because you know how to fight doesn't mean you have courage, nor does it mean it's always the smart thing to do. Though George St. Pierre is arguably the greatest fighter of our time, I'm fairly confident he is not bullet proof.
fmlrulesBolt 14
What a rip off!!
sarneeley 14
If you only took karate for the sole purpose of avoiding being robbed on the street you deserve it. My impression of karate is like yoga. Achieving new levels with your body and mind. There are other ways for self defense and you shouldn't let one incident spoil something that you previously put a lot of effort into.
oatgoblin 7
Agreed. Asian martial arts are exercise, not self-defense. Better off taking bjj or krav maga, OP.
swedeNix 13
Im just guessing its wadu ryu style?
miss_amphetamine 24
The mugger could have had a gun, in which case it wouldn't matter how skilled your instructor is. He was smart to not try to fight because you never know with some random person on the street. Clicking YDI because you're an idiot, OP.
Jonesy272 15
In most countries if you know any form of fighting arts, you are classed as a "human wepon" and can get highly charged for it unless it is equal force. so if this guy didn't lay a hand on him, he can't do anything without being charged for assault. Also doesn't mean he hasn't taught you how to fight/defend yourself, he might just not have the nerve in an actual fight.
2D_fml 8
That's because he knows karate is worthless in a real fight. I practice ba gua and that is one you should try if you really wanna win a fight...
worldclassrager 41
It was Chuck Norris wasn't it?