Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML
Today, I desperately needed a mental health day, so I took the day off work and got some junk food and wine. A few hours later, I'm in hospital with gallstones and pancreatitis, needing an emergency surgery. My mental health day turned into multiple weeks off work, and a lot of pain. FML
Today, I woke up with chest pain. It hurt just to breathe, but my parents made me go to school anyway. We're now sitting in the emergency room. FML
Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML
Today, I threw up due to food poisoning. Despite my fever and pain, my wife is completely convinced it was from secretly drinking, and I am now "PERMANENTLY FORBIDDEN" from drinking anything alcoholic. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor due to some gastric distress I have. I came out with directions to buy a blood pressure monitor, I'm prohibited from doing sports, and have a possible diagnosis of arterial hypertension which I am way too young to have. FML
Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML
Today, I was just released from hospital after a heart attack. As a 37 year-old woman with healthy habits and no family history of heart issues, the doctors have no idea why it happened. So instead of telling me how to change my lifestyle, they told me to proceed as usual, and hope that it doesn't happen again. FML
Today, I'm in agony. I can't eat or drink anything without being in pain, including water. Doctors don't know what's wrong with me, and can only prescribe me painkillers I can only take 3 times a day. FML
Today, I went to get Covid test because I had chest pain and shortness of breath. Turns out, I just have depression and anxiety. FML
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Top comments
SwiftFaux 0
Good lord. So yogurt for lunch, then?
LiyIa_fml 8
53 is an example of why I dislike my generation.
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Comments (194)
sydie5 12
*slap* Should've had a V8.
nerdsgetmehot 23
I can think of nothing to say other than that sucks! So sorry, OP. I would be bummed out too.
supersixfour 7
then don't say anything.
nerdsgetmehot 23
What the hell? I was trying to be nice by saying "Sorry, OP. Your situations sucks. I have sympathy for you." Don't be a jerk. Downvote me all you want, but I was honestly trying to be nice instead of making a dumbass comment.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Downvote me all you want, but I was honestly being genuinely sympathetic for OP's situation instead of making a dumbass comment.
brine212 5
Pretty sure tomatoes are a fruit with both skin and seed.
Scands_59 14
sucks to be you...but hey you can still eat bacon!!!
x_KL_x 7
Life wouldn't be worth living if I couldn't eat bacon.
FYLDeep 26
What a seemingly disjointed and arbitrary list. Where's DocBastard to make sense of all this?
DocBastard 40
Here's a list of things off the top of my head that could be mistaken for angina: Biliary colic, pancreatitis, acid reflux/heartburn, gastritis, costochondritis, perforated duodenal ulcer, anxiety/panic disorder, pneumonia, asthma I'm not seeing anything there about a specific list of foods, especially one as random as that. I'm just as lost as the rest of you.
ladiesman219 4
Well I guess it could be worse.?? You could have cancer!!
aliadnan708 6
Meat, chicken, ham? N more so ull be ok
supersixfour 7
nitrates, triglycerides, cholesterol...speaking of heart attacks
Euphorically 14
Your life does suck but that last sentence is really pushing it. You'd rather have a heart attack, honestly?
Euphorically 14
I'm not quite that thick. I know it's a joke. I guess I'm just a bit sensitive when it comes to stuff like this. I personally wouldn't joke about this, that's all.
Enslaved 38
Have you ever been so ill, lying in bed with a super high fever and wishing you would just die? You really don't want to die, you just feel like that for the moment. (: I'm sure it's the same concept.
piratepride77 0
Umm.. If you have a heart attack you won't be eating that stuff anyway. Better to be preventative.
angelofmusic89 11
Actually, the heart attack victim COULD eat the fruits, tomatoes, mint. Dark Chocolate is really good for the heart as is red wine in moderation. Learn your stuff before you post please.
deviable 9
Heart attacks are pretty inconvenient that way.