Health: Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't...

By tm - 18/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 783

You deserved it 2 083

Health

Sorry…

Not the golden child

Wrong place, wrong time

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 12:09 - Netherlands

Today, on WhatsApp, I jokingly said, "I have been a naughty furry, I need spanking" in a group chat with all my friends. They had a good time laughing their asses off, not only because of the text, but because I put it in a group that included my boss and all of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 454

You deserved it 9 435

Traitor!

By maricela - 14/05/2021 07:58

Today, I found out why my boyfriend didn’t want me to attend his graduation: because a classmate he’s been seeing was there. I watched through the livestream posted on the school website as they held hands, hugged and kissed. I motivated him to finish college in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 83

By youmothERFUCKErs - 13/08/2012 17:50 - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 087

You deserved it 2 356

By Surprisebuttsecks? - 07/12/2011 04:39 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 131

You deserved it 7 358

By unprofessional - 13/04/2015 05:20 - United States - Portland

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 928

You deserved it 24 344

By FamilyLoving - 19/08/2013 16:00 - United States - Patchogue

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 030

You deserved it 3 803

People of Walmart

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 22:00

Today, a bratty kid at Walmart called my mom a "fat bitch" when she wasn't walking fast enough for him. Enraged, I gave him the meanest death glare I could muster and I tore him a new one, right in front of his mother, who then defended her kid, saying that my mom and I should both lose a few pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 208

By hahahano - 24/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was running late and rushing to a waiting bus. I made it to the doors just as they closed. I knocked desperately, hoping the driver would let me in. He hovered his hand over the button for a few seconds, then flipped me off and drove away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 885

You deserved it 3 820

By Galaxy - 29/03/2014 17:03 - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 423

You deserved it 7 274

By twelvie - 23/03/2015 14:24 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 756

You deserved it 2 895

It's gettin' hott in here…

By Alan - 02/09/2015 20:13 - Germany

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 686

You deserved it 2 479

By seizuregirl17 - 19/11/2013 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I had a seizure in class. Being an epileptic, I had warned my professor of the possibility that I could have one in class. She was understanding and seemed very concerned about my issue at the time. After I had the seizure, however, she asked me if I had ever tried exorcism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 429

You deserved it 2 868

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 464

You deserved it 3 193

By college kid - 31/07/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I found out that the day I moved out of my parents' house, they invited my whole family over and had a party to celebrate the fact that I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 172

You deserved it 5 353

By Jen - 28/12/2009 01:36 - Canada

Today, I was watching 'Caillou'. It was a Christmas special for pre-schoolers. I was quite enjoying myself, when it hit me that my kid had been in bed for an hour. I forget what adult TV is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 813

You deserved it 6 459

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 07:47 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 172

You deserved it 3 045

By stillloveherthough - 26/02/2016 17:54 - Germany - Aachen

Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 2 010

By Anonymous - 08/08/2019 00:01

Today, my landlord asked me to get rid of the flower boxes I have at the window in the stairwell. Why? Because they are disgusting. Why are they disgusting? Because his cat keeps using them as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 139

By liilii - 30/08/2014 16:40 - India - Trivandrum

Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 638

You deserved it 6 667

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 068

You deserved it 2 460

By zuzu - 01/05/2019 14:00

Today, as I was making biscuits my mom joked, "Don't burn the house down." I told her "Don't worry, I know how to make biscuits." The oven caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 648

You deserved it 598

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 13:29 - United States - Fairmont

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 183

You deserved it 3 328

By shit - 28/04/2016 11:05 - United States - Colonial Heights

Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 897

You deserved it 8 068

By bieberyoulittleSHIT - 31/08/2012 19:20 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 581

You deserved it 29 485

Be careful what you wish for…

By Sady_Ct - 15/05/2019 12:12

Today, I caught my husband trying on the sexy bra I bought to wear just for him. For shits and giggles, I made him try on my dress too. He looked better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 159

You deserved it 6 230

By Anonymous - 29/08/2018 06:00

Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 143

You deserved it 433

By GottaGetOuttaHere - 09/11/2018 13:30

Today, during my yearly review, I was told by my boss that mistakes in my paperwork will be investigated by our company legal team. He also said, "Think of them as the TV or movie version of Internal Affairs" and said I would be considered "guilty until proven innocent." I can't afford to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 415

You deserved it 185

By Bisounours - 22/07/2011 11:23 - France

Today, I went to see the new Harry Potter movie with my boyfriend. Feeling an intense need to pee, he decided to sacrifice a few minutes of the movie before the highly-anticipated final combat to get some relief. He went through the wrong door, locking himself out. Right until the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 760

You deserved it 1 401

By Paicked - 25/01/2012 12:33 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loves me. Instead of saying it back, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 17 632

By _philliesfan - 14/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I was prioritizing my extreme amount of homework. I read over the front page of my psychology paper seeing that it was pretty easy questions, I decided to do it last. Little did I know there was a 8 page essay on the back of the page. It's 12:19 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 648

You deserved it 21 103

Carless whisper

By JaneSimple - 05/02/2021 17:01

Today, my car broke down. Yesterday, my husband mentioned he found my dream car for sale, but I'd insisted my car had a lot of miles left and we should save money. They sold my dream car this morning. Now I'm carless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 296

By Grrrawrwtf - 03/06/2012 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with me but it had to be after our cruise together because he doesn't want to lose out on money. Can't wait for the Bahamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 890

You deserved it 2 443

By SteveBassist - 27/03/2018 15:00

Today, while playing on stage, the singer of my band swung his microphone around, straight into my face. I now have stitches above my right eye, and a job interview in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 875

You deserved it 285

By Nick - 23/08/2011 06:42 - United States

Today, I found my truck broken into. Whoever broke in ripped my dash apart, and the stupid idiot couldn't get the radio out. So now I have a trashed truck interior, and the moron has nothing to show for it. He did leave behind his Subway wrapper though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 495

You deserved it 2 301

Happy…

By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 23:02 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 307

You deserved it 3 534

Error!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2019 03:00

Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 226

By _SouthernClass_ - 29/08/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 168

By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 695

You deserved it 6 968

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, I spent an hour writing 80 thank you cards to everyone who attended my graduationg party. After carefully personalizing each one and sealing them shut, I realized I did not mark the envelopes with names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 528

You deserved it 47 305

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Top comments

Shadowvoid 33

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 15:57

Well, i hope you are ok, this news is just heart breaking.

MDM15 5

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:02

Well at least you were at the best possible place to have a broken nose in

Shadowvoid 33

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 15:57

Well, i hope you are ok, this news is just heart breaking.

Shadowvoid 33

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:01

My first ever first comment, i'm so happy that i might ju* falls on the floor in seizmatic convulsions* sorry, my heart just couldn't take it.

blaackandprouud 20

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:10

Well I don't see how the news is heart breaking.. Probably a bad pun. But he's right it could've actually been a heart attack. At least it's just a broken nose, even though those things hurt like crazy.

mbusey 20

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:14

That was terrible #1.

fahd4life 1

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:20

No man that was awesome # 1

LilDarkAngel9014 2

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 18:12

Well at least you were already at the hospital. You could have passed out at home or wherever. Good thing it's just a broken nose and not heart attack.

Shadowvoid 33

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 22:35

This is my first ever first comment.

icecreamdriveby 5

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Thursday 19 July 2012 10:51

At least that got you in to see a doctor quicker? You can spend hours in those waiting rooms..

coffeegrl12 3

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Thursday 19 July 2012 11:40

I am ok but in a lot of pain. They operated on my nose and I'm now swollen and bruised. As for why I was standing...after waiting for 30 Minutes they called me back and as I was getting out of the chair, instead of standing, I fell forward landing face down. Turns out, I have pneumonia, so the chest pain was from infection, and they believe I passed out because my oxygen level was too low. Thank you for your concern!

CSweeney 2

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Thursday 9 August 2012 23:50

Way to destroy a funny comment...

mrsstaken 12

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 15:59

Don't break my heart, my achey breaky heart... I think it'd rather break my nose... Atleast you were already at the ER, saved yourself the Trip

blaackandprouud 20

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:15

The bad puns just keep on coming!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 18:07

I hate that song -.-

MDM15 5

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:02

Well at least you were at the best possible place to have a broken nose in

YoungMisfit 9

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:20

But when he/she woke up, there wallet, phone, and social security number was gone.

swankmrpancake 8

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:21

I don't think there is a good place to break your nose really

DRMIKA 4

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 17:47

I hate to be nosie, but this sad news is giving me heartache

botanistjessica 24

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:03

So what was actually wrong?

PoseidonsSon 3

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:27

OP had chest pain so he/she went to the hospital to get it checked out. (s)he fell to the ground and broke his/her nose because She/he thought he/she was having a heart attack.

botanistjessica 24

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 19:12

I just don't understand why one would pass out just at the thought of a heart attack. Seems to me like the chest pain may have actually had a cause.

shannonreneee 11

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Thursday 19 July 2012 0:28

46, severe stress can sometimes cause pain that somewhat resembles a heart attack. The increasing stress/fear of suffering a heart attack can also cause a person to just collapse. I've seen it happen before.

emilyjgraham 34

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Wednesday 18 July 2012 16:03

Although breaking your nose must be painful, just be grateful that you're not suffering any heart conditions and that you're alive :) you were lucky I think!