Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML
Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
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Top comments
PeaceSignQueen 6
did you find out what was the issue at least
RichardPencil 30
The good news that if you are a squirter, there are some nice employment opportunities for you in the film industry ;)
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Comments (13)
PeaceSignQueen 6
did you find out what was the issue at least
sousaphonist 14
Not sure what the doctor was expecting with one
Lily_Rain77 25
Now I'm curious
Coffee5555 14
well, that's good news! ?
Uniquestar7 20
Prolactinoma?
RichardPencil 30
The good news that if you are a squirter, there are some nice employment opportunities for you in the film industry ;)
ImminentDisaster 12
Phantom pregnancy? My cousins dog had that.
neuronerd 29
Certain antipsychotics/anxiety meds cause that. But yeah, at least it happened at the doctor's office. They're used to embarrassing stuff.
Mira Lynn Hebert 3
but what was it
LavenderCrow 12
I hope it's not breast cancer, OP. I also hope you figure out what it is soon and get it treated! Must be super awkward. :/