Health: Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach... - FML

By actually just constipated.. and stupid - 04/03/2015 15:03 - Tunisia

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 316

You deserved it 37 875

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feven 32

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:20

You should've said "I'm not a man" just to fuck with him too

XxDanno316xX 27

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:19

You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!

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XxDanno316xX 27

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:19

You're not on the pill!? Jeez man. At least use condoms Eh mate!

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Thursday 5 March 2015 20:10

never thought I would say this but thats a cool doctor.

feven 32

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:20

You should've said "I'm not a man" just to fuck with him too

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:26

Luckily for OP, there's a chance the doctor thought OP was playing along with the joke and made a really good pretend freakout?

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:33

And told the doc he's the father.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 5:59

The doctor knows his gender from the papers he has to submit before being seen...

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Thursday 5 March 2015 17:24

#63 Way to kill it, captain obvious

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Friday 6 March 2015 23:45

"I thought you were a doctor and you can't even differentiate gender?!" Hahaha

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Thursday 5 March 2015 0:20

took freaked out to a new level

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:45

Maybe you should take the next level. The capital level. Perhaps even a "T".

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Thursday 5 March 2015 4:17

we all understand what he's saying, so is that really necessary? not defending him or anything but go about your business dude.

patrickalamo 47

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:21

Sympathy pains for your girlfriend maybe?

wishfulthinks 19

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:22

Did the doctor diagnose stupidity?

badmandilon 19

Thursday 5 March 2015 1:45

Is it necessary?

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:22

You're a complete idiot, haha. Sorry OP, but you deserve this one.

BlondePsycho 43

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:22

Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?

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Thursday 5 March 2015 1:44

"Gullible" isn't in the dictionary, but it's written on the ceiling!

113421145311564 14

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Thursday 5 March 2015 19:26

...

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:23

Geez... I guess you shouldn't be such a BABY about it...? anyone... no?

bab3ruthl3ss 16

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Thursday 5 March 2015 1:03

No.

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:23

You probably did need to give birth though, to a huge shit. Same concept, completely different experience and people don't exactly congratulate you and want to hold it.

TheHumanHeater 6

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:45

I believe the proper term is mud baby

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:23

I think I laughed a little harder than I should have. Sorry, OP!

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Thursday 5 March 2015 0:44

Why be sorry? This is FML. He posted this at his own risk. Of course we are going to mock OP.

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Saturday 7 March 2015 19:22

Yes we're going to mock posters, but we're not going to be jerks about it.

Nearly

Today, like yesterday, I've read so many FMLs that the randoms are repeating and I know that I've voted on at least a few of same ones everyday. And I'll probably do it tomorrow. And the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 5

Today, I realized that as I don’t have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any of the other things of the world today, this is my only contact with the world other than work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 38

Spicy

Spicy

Today, after I hooked up with a guy the other night and we had lots of fun, (or so I thought), I woke up to a text saying, “I feel worthless and disgusting after having sex.” He said he was a virgin and he’s a Christian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 84

Today, I caught my cousin's husband ogling me at a party. I decided to talk to him, but each time he'd avoid me. Eventually I confronted him about staring at me; he then pointed at the front of my dress, my nipple had slightly snuck out of my low-cut dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 252

You deserved it 930