By youreajoker - 10/11/2010 10:28 - Australia

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 550
You deserved it 19 654

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Hand in your testicles at the door please sir. You are way to dumb and gullible to be a man.


subbullet 7

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You would have been lucky. The government has to pay millions of dollars to the first pregnant man. Google it.

#43 Yep! There already was a first pregnant man.

If he were to be pregnant, he'd need an egg in him, not more sperm.

the worlds first pregnant man use to be a woman so he isn't the first pregnant man. it is physically impossible for a man to bear children.

#55 Close enough. It's the closest thing the world will ever have to a pregnant man. All of the papers said "the world's first pregnant man" or some variation thereof, so I'm just quoting...I am well aware that he wasn't a man to begin with and was in the process of transitioning from woman to man. I'm also well aware that it's physically impossible for a man to bear children. :P

dudeitsdanny 9

If men could get pregnant, some women would be very much screwed, and not in the good way anymore. On the brightside, we'd be able to laugh at the people saying gays cannot adopt. It would definitely be life-changing. But, alas, OP is just a retard who believes everything his doctor says. Good thing he's not pregnant: I'd hate to think of the IQ of his children.

unfortunately, 64, he can still find ways of reproducing. so we still may need to worry about the IQ of his children. lol

dudeitsdanny 9

I dunno.. If he's married, and I was his wife, I'd invest on the pill to avoid having his kids. But OP probably thinks that swallowing can get you pregnant, so who knows what lies his future or current spouse can come up with.

rallets 22

#64 im pretty sure that wouldnt stop men from trying to have sex with women

It's definitely possible. I saw it in a documentary called 'Junior'

you wouldn't be the first man. there have been, I dunno, 15 other guys who got pregnant? In the entire history of the world

tpreston 0

no none has ever gotten pregnant other than Tucker who had junior

lilpup45 6

Yea except he was a she in the first place

lol yeah, but op should've pretended that he had a heart attack :D

I'm laughing so hard right now. By the way - I like your hair, katgurl :)

And rottentomatoes', but I didn't wanna sound creepy. lol

hah! are you really that dumb? do you have sex with men? do you have an egg? if so.. have fun fitting the head through your tip

they're calling the OP stupid for believing that he was pregnant. Because he clearly CANT be since he's missing eggs, ovaries, fallopian tubes, a uterus, a ******, & a cervix (if he's straight, he hasn't had sex with other men). They aren't saying he's stupid for not having sex with men.

I thought everybody had uteruses >.

juandani 0

Ahhh damn imagen the pain wait just don't really just don't

Brings a whole new meaning to the words kidney stones.

well if your gonna get pregnant like a woman you should also make me a sammich

It's happened 'man who gave birth to his brother' for example where one twin 'absorbs' the others. And sympathy pregnancy, women sometimes lactate for infants they adopt. Men get 'pregnant' it's unusual but it happens.

men can get sympathetic pregnancy when their wives/ girlfriends are pregnant... i wonder if OP's partner is pregnant

It doesn't happen. Sympathy pregnancy is not pregnancy. A undeveloped conjoined twin is not pregnancy.

avengedjerrrufol 0

men do not get pregnant.. its a physical impossibility. we have no uterus no eggs our hips are too narrow to hold one or any of the esential organs to do so. and that "man" that did have a child was born a woman so it doesnt count.

chikachikawahwah 0

you're right, but a lot of me do get sympathy cravings, aches, weight gain, and other symptoms. it's not actual pregnancy, just symptoms. look it up.

Well, if you're gay... I could understand your first panic moments. Then, you should have realized --'

Hand in your testicles at the door please sir. You are way to dumb and gullible to be a man.

doggone456 0

so are you saying females are dumb sir??? I know alot of females who are hella smarter than males :p

Why would a doctor joke about that? I think it's somewhat understandable to believe him, at least for a little while. He is a doctor after all

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? You DUMB SEXIST CHAUVINISTIC ******* piece of SHIT! What, as if only WOMEN can be dumb and gullible?! Not possible for men, EH? YEAH, if your DUMB and GULLIBLE, you couldnt POSSIBLY be a MAN! YOU dumb piece of shit, I hope you are murdered