Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was...

By Ella - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

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22359

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Miscellaneous

Serious times

Thanks for the support

OK Shaggy

By Baldy

Polly Want a Wax

Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2610

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627

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By merrymary - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

34626

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By Thanks Babe - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59986

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7544

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By Anonymous - United States - Waterville

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37464

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4477

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By Amber - United States

Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10-year-old son has been peeing on the radiator, thinking it's fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37068

You deserved it

3246

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By drama king? - United States - Bolivar

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53461

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5978

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By Not A Pervert - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36900

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5691

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By Spawn_of_Satan - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58021

You deserved it

7405

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By Anonymous

Oedipus Rex

Today, my mother started arguing with me once again about how my life revolves around my girlfriend and how it's unhealthy to spend so much time with her. We live together and are engaged to be married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1828

You deserved it

142

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By bigmouth - United States

Today, I was working as a host at a pasta dinner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said "that's my mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12662

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74743

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By Junkrat

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16250

You deserved it

3224

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By Janie - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42448

You deserved it

4001

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By Anonymous

What a tool

Today, my ex-boyfriend wrote to me for the first time in years, because of the whole Covid-19 situation. Did he want to make sure I am okay? No. In fact, he didn't even ask about me. He just seemed to consider this the perfect opportunity to patronize me some more, and felt the need to tell me to "keep calm." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1520

You deserved it

214

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By neverStopLaughin - United States

Today, I moved out of my parents basement. After I hugged my parents I walked out the door only to remember I left my phone in the kitchen. I open the door and see my parents dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38114

You deserved it

14035

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By Meow - Singapore

Today, I was finishing up my art project that was due the next day. I was really tired and fell asleep on my table. Three hours later, I woke up to find my project torn to bits. I went out and saw my cat vomitting out feathers and other materials I used for my project. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35664

You deserved it

8124

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By NotSoSick - United States

Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28429

You deserved it

3843

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27336

You deserved it

5368

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By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

The Blob

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

763

You deserved it

252

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By Anonymous - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21509

You deserved it

1783

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By michelle - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23225

You deserved it

2813

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By NO NO NO - Netherlands - Den Haag

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56332

You deserved it

5319

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By hahahawoww - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32398

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4440

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By GuillermoCJ - Mexico

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house and had to go to the bathroom. While peeing, I had a cough attack. The cough shook my body, making me pee all over my pants. My girlfriend's parents just arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28047

You deserved it

4676

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By NeoDepressed - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2137

You deserved it

598

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34343

You deserved it

4192

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By Nicole - United States

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38950

You deserved it

12940

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By SN MetalMilitia - 3/11/2020 05:02

Make believe

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

369

You deserved it

1137

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By Amanda - United States

Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32479

You deserved it

3886

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By fsdjhgasjlhg - Australia - Cairns

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52817

You deserved it

4973

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By Anonymous - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23518

You deserved it

6884

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By QuicksilverMaximoff - United Kingdom

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46796

You deserved it

3099

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By Anonymous - United States - Springfield

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40759

You deserved it

3008

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By sad - United States

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7850

You deserved it

43166

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By awkwardmandy - United States - Okeene

Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22434

You deserved it

2348

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By erin1985 - Australia

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. I leaned down to get something out of my bag and hit my head on some protruding concrete. I said I was fine. Then blood came running down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26828

You deserved it

2873

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By beekie9 - United States

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

I agree, your life sucks

25178

You deserved it

2213

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By TipsyTj - Canada - Kentville

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22125

You deserved it

3234

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By jester777 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12513

You deserved it

49278

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By Boyufd

Show and tell

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2023

You deserved it

257

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By stupid - United States

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48755

You deserved it

13016

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Top comments

By jessica777 | 0

#27849 - Thursday 12 March 2009 7:27

damn you, girl-in-the-yellow-shirt!

By Noxic | 0

#558957 - Saturday 12 September 2009 23:46

It's common sense that you should check yourself after using the bathroom, especially if you're in a skirt and "ugly undies".

COMMENTS

By jessica777 | 0

#27849 - Thursday 12 March 2009 7:27

damn you, girl-in-the-yellow-shirt!

By princess90 | 0

#78015 - Thursday 2 April 2009 23:55

your skirt must have been really really short for you not to notice the BREEEZE..... how could you not have noticed, and she might have been wearing ugly underwear cuz her cute ones were in the laundry:o

tonkaburner | 2

#2735213 - Wednesday 22 June 2011 8:40

perhaps it wasn't a smart idea to wear the little skirt till the pretty panties were washed then ha

fm16 | 5

#4333226 - Saturday 21 April 2012 5:09

Lol.

By oloie | 0

#127906 - Tuesday 21 April 2009 0:02

ohh dude im sorry i didnt tell you its just... you know i didnt want to freak you out

By naroushh | 0

#169312 - Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:04

HAHAHAHA WELL IF I WAS THE GIRL IN THE YELLOW SHIRT I WOULDNT TELL U EITHER AND U COULD OF SEEN IF U LOOKED DOWN UR A REALLY BAD LIAR
TRY HARDER U GOT A 30 ON A 100

By MetalCraze | 11

#250778 - Monday 1 June 2009 14:50

I am the girl in the yellow shirt
I noticed but i secretly hate you for being fat and excessivly farting in the elevator
I hop everyone laughed at you you fat smelly wanker fyl

By albinorhino | 0

#282841 - Monday 8 June 2009 16:18

Not a good fml moment u fail lolsauce

By Dinglenuts | 0

#374173 - Tuesday 7 July 2009 2:15

It's not up to her to be your babysittter.

By Andyangels27 | 0

#506978 - Saturday 22 August 2009 11:05

girl in yellow shirt - "hahahahahahahaha"

By Noxic | 0

#558957 - Saturday 12 September 2009 23:46

It's common sense that you should check yourself after using the bathroom, especially if you're in a skirt and "ugly undies".

By sxenlegit | 0

#968535 - Friday 26 March 2010 13:24

if i'm going to wear a skirt ever I wear pretty underwear always for reasons like that..... and if you didn't have any clean don't wear a skirt YDI!