Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
TJhudson181 12
How old are you again? If you're over like 8, YDI.
Cashtangoteam 10
I'm sorry, but it's fun as hell to be pushed around in the shopping cart, regardless of how old you are.
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Comments (68)
mell123_fml 4
Cool dad you got there...Coool..
Enslaved 38
Well, It is called "Target" for a reason! (:
TweetAnne 13
FYL, but the fact that your dad thought about it, and you didn't say or do anything is messed up. You could of said no.
Lioness8197 18
I'm pretty sure OP didn't think that his/her dad was going to push him/her in front of a car.
1dvs_bstd 41
*Snorted*
perdix 31
He was pushing you around and wouldn't it be cool to win a million dollars? Of course, it would be less fun to spend a million bucks as a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic, so the plan has it's flaws from your point of view,. . ., but not your dad's ;)
bbgirlXD 6
Your dad is a freakin retard , how would it be the drivers fault if you were in a shopping cart and got push toward the car ? People like your dad should not procreate or even exist >_
amandajlucas2015 2
I'm not saying the dad was right in Wut he wanted to do but if he did file a lawsuit against the driver he would probably win because car are supposed to watch out for crossing pedestrians even in buggy form.. Usually cars aren't supposed to go more than 20 miles an hour maybe even less thru a parking lot to avoid this problem that way they could stop in time
mmbabydollxxx 1
The fact that you think that would have been cool to do is messed up... Hey, at least you take after your dad! You got his stupidness!
BigSexy123 11
Sitting in the cart is ******* awesome. Someone had a shitty childhood here.
miura_fml 17
Why would you want to sit in a cart to begin with?
mmbabydollxxx 1
Exactly
kniggit 10
Your childhood lacked the wonderful feeling of carting down the aisle with the smoothest smooth floors, didn't it. Don't worry, you can push along and stand on the back bar next time.
mario2012 18
Dude, your dad is smart. It's much easier than robbing a bank. Seriously though, your dad is a dick.
michael99man 5
That's one smart dad...