Miscellaneous: Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in...

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 2 511

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Same thing different taste

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 596

You deserved it 32 254

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

By anonymous22kittylicklick - 20/08/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, I was at Target deciding what chap-stick to get when an old lady violently hit me with her umbrella and kept yelling at me saying, "You are too young for this! Think twice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 474

You deserved it 2 844

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 13:12 - Belgium

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 341

You deserved it 2 859

By Elrond Hubbard - 24/01/2015 19:25 - United States

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 055

You deserved it 2 610

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 2 127

Cart Narcs will get ya!

By May - 10/01/2021 20:01

Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 196

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 2 481

Alexa, play "Your Daddy's Car" by The Divine Comedy

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 18:00

Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 445

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 2 952

TJhudson181 12

Sunday 18 November 2012 13:45

How old are you again? If you're over like 8, YDI.

Cashtangoteam 10

Sunday 18 November 2012 15:36

I'm sorry, but it's fun as hell to be pushed around in the shopping cart, regardless of how old you are.

Comments

echosaints 5

Sunday 18 November 2012 15:42

Wait I dont understand..He's gonna push u into a car and sue the driver? On what planet would that be the drivers fault?

mario2012 18

Sunday 18 November 2012 15:58

Planet Hisanus.

apples723 0

Sunday 18 November 2012 15:53

that sucks

loloalltheway 23

Sunday 18 November 2012 16:26

Suing seriously? USA -_-

KiddNYC1O 20

Sunday 18 November 2012 23:04

Be quiet. Both you and #41.

purpleprincess17 1

Sunday 18 November 2012 16:37

It's people like your dad the make normal people hate America.

Beemss 1

Sunday 18 November 2012 16:47

Thats funny, i always tell me kids we are going to Target to exchange them for new kids.

pradip 26

Sunday 18 November 2012 20:27

good start, ur first comment on FML brought out a laugh keep it up

mahdi8130 8

Sunday 18 November 2012 18:23

Seems like he's joking, so i really don't see this as a fml.

zuelhater 7

Sunday 18 November 2012 21:30

Holy sh** people like your dad actually exist!?

hannnahmarie 14

Sunday 18 November 2012 21:32

That makes noo sense at all.

blablablabla5555 5

Monday 19 November 2012 10:22

um... how old are you that you still think it's cool to be pushed around in a cart..?

mymegangirl 7

Monday 3 June 2019 17:35

ydi. good God, how old are you?

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The Top

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 228

You deserved it 6 619

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 608

You deserved it 5 178

The Top

Today, I used a menstrual cup for the first time. When I took it out, a big chunk of dog hair came with it. I think I'm too grossed out to ever use it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 440

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 661

You deserved it 3 919

Today, I came home to find my younger daughter left her silly band collection on the carpet in front of the fireplace. I now have melted unicorns and princesses stuck in my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 995

You deserved it 4 190

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 258

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142 886

You deserved it 7 509

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 286

You deserved it 7 245