Today, I went to Disney World. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year-old man. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML
Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML
Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML
Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML
Today, while at a trampoline park, my time of the month and my out-of-shape body worked together to make me almost pass out. FML
Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year-old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML
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Top comments
X0XyentroucX0X 0
i seen her...i dont blame u she is pretty hot
Rocksygen 0
Talking about Ariel, how do mermaids reproduce ?
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Comments (93)
etanico 0
you're the bomb, my friend.
rihannalover 0
that's funny. i am however somewhat annoyed and tired of fmls that end with the age and gender. i know why they are there, to make the fml seem more sad, but it's getting old. we get it: if you're old enough to go on fml, you shouldn't really be excited to see ariel. or going to disney world for that matter.
MiniatureMayhem 0
Are you a hot 35 year old man?
Ninjaface 0
I hate to break it to you, but Ariel is only into men with "tridents." On the other hand, there aren't many of those around, so she might be desperate enough to settle with a clownfish like you.
Mortanious 0
Hahahaha YDI but I don't blame you, I'm 26 and would totally tap Ariel's tail in mermaid form.
SavageParrot 0
Why would you jump? Just barge the kiddies out of the way, they're not so tough.
chwder912 3
YOU ARE A RETARD
lifesfailure 4
dude. WTF...
xoluvinshayxo 0
ahahaa! how ****! jk. thats actually cute! (:
Relentless113 0
noob got pwnt