Intimacy: Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath... - FML

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 287

You deserved it 16 603

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Same thing different taste

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 199

You deserved it 53 465

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 423

You deserved it 19 728

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 880

You deserved it 64 846

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 554

You deserved it 3 892

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 875

You deserved it 4 213

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 269

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 233

You deserved it 9 951

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 214

You deserved it 6 729

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 386

You deserved it 47 252

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960

Next

Top comments

SyraSid5 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

why were they there?

NeonRisk 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

*face palm*

Comments

TomasT 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:07

Ask them!!! And if they say no, you can always Golden Shower them through the mattress!

jojoboo1 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:11

dear gawd 31- that's a smoking hot bod. j/s.

jojoboo1 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:13

OP ur ****** is showing. the odds are that one of those bitches will throw u sympathy head... go get u some!

Backspace007 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:19

Use really???? Grow some nads man you should've just gone down there

amoneyx 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:20

damn dude! I would kill my self if I was u. lol!!!

corrupteddevil 12

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:25

Grow some cahones, senor. You shoulda at least taken the shot. I mean, what's the worst they would've said? No? Then what? You're still alone on the top bunk? Damn, dude, it's not like that's any worse than where you were. Just keep in mind for the future: They probably wondered wtf was wrong with you.

DeathShad0 1

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:36

Did you at least weep softly?

DJortiz31 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:42

hahaha noooo game lol u should kill yourself for passing up an opportunity like that lol

Silkie 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:48

LMAO! Haha :D that sucks sooo hard!

acb132_fml 3

Tuesday 27 July 2010 21:49

aww dude ouch

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The Top

Today, after 18 years of struggling to provide my daughter with the finest educational opportunities I could afford, I dropped her off to start school at the best public university in the U.S. So far the only thing she's learned is what weed smells like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 329

You deserved it 6 269

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 993

You deserved it 4 244

Today, I counted how many medications I'm on: 14. I'm waiting to see another specialist who might put me on 2 more. I'm currently on more medications than my grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 093

You deserved it 202

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 007

You deserved it 5 647

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 770

You deserved it 397

Today, I was practicing soccer at my school. My team was practicing penalty kicks. It was my turn up and this cute girl that I like was watching off ten feet away from the goal. I was running to take the kick when I slipped and kicked the ball. It hit her head and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 352

You deserved it 10 736