Transportation: Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink...

By icantdrive - 19/03/2009 04:22 - Canada

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 73 390

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/01/2015 22:14 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 129

You deserved it 10 280

Obsession by Calvin Klein

By Carrie - 04/12/2020 20:02 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was at a party with my crush, but I didn’t talk to him. After, I walked out to my car, and saw a dent in my car. I then noticed that the dent was exactly the size of my crush’s head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 342

By boom - 17/03/2011 21:26 - United States

Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 154

You deserved it 3 788

By Stupid Drunk - 22/12/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 074

You deserved it 49 605

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 050

You deserved it 9 633

By Anonymous - 18/05/2009 06:45 - Canada

Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 006

You deserved it 24 008

By Noj12345 - 25/06/2009 08:05 - United States

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 293

You deserved it 57 223

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 055

You deserved it 17 369

Oh what a night

By EmployeeOfTheMonth - 09/06/2013 23:33 - United States - Montpelier

Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 476

You deserved it 9 139

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 69 644

happy_ness 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:04

haha. apparently you don't need alcohol.

Locket_fml 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:55

#7 If you are driving, then don't drink. Obviously. However the OP was being self-righteous ("alcohol makes people stupid and crash their cars"). By all means make the choice not to drink, but when someone offers you a drink, thats all you need to say - "sorry, I don't drink". There is no need to act all high and mighty like you are somehow better for not drinking.

Comments

happy_ness 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:04

haha. apparently you don't need alcohol.

Mnemic 6

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:07

You're a woman, you can't drive anyway! :-P

commonsense 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:09

well its hard to make that point when your already stupid and crashing cars people like that dont need alcohol to speed things up

Mf2307 15

Sunday 10 January 2016 4:19

I would hate to see what he does with alcohol in his system lol

stringbeanjeanoo 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:13

good call on not drinking and driving tho.

Jimboom 11

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:14

Better ride that high horse home because I wouldn't trust you behind a wheel.

greatnt249 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:24

Self-righteousness is not an effective way to win the heart of your crush...you deserved this.

abouttofly 12

Thursday 19 March 2009 12:35

#5, 6: Avoiding drinking when you're going to have to drive home is not "self-righteousness" or a "high horse", it's basic safety. OP: You made a good decision not to drink, and I hope your crush understands that.