Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I woke up to hear dripping water in the kitchen. Thinking it was someone getting a glass of water or something, I came out to find that it was just a mouse drowning in my dog's water bowl. FML
Today, I'm going to a cocktail event, except my dress is wrinkled and can't be ironed, so I got my steam cleaner from storage. I saw what looked like mold inside the water container. Turns out a mouse had got into it, drowned and started to decompose. My apartment now smells like death and my dress is still wrinkled. FML
Today, I discovered that the rancid stench in my bathroom was a decaying carcass of a mouse in my toilet tank. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse that somehow got stuck in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead mouse water for the past week. FML
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Top comments
Cynical_1 26
Well hopefully it was an alcoholic drink. If it was then the alcohol should have killed any harmful microbes. If it wasn't then...well...good luck OP.
ClassieCassie 0
Hopefully, you submitted this from a doctors office. Ouch.
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Comments (12)
Cynical_1 26
Well hopefully it was an alcoholic drink. If it was then the alcohol should have killed any harmful microbes. If it wasn't then...well...good luck OP.
Steve115s 7
Did not know that
BananEnigma 24
You can pour alcohol or use rubbing alcohol on wounds to prevent infection, but it would have to be a very high percentage alcoholic drink to actually kill ALL of the harmful microbes... like you'd pretty much have to be drinking straight ethyl hydroxide 100% proof with no additives...
DLBL 23
Alcohol on a wound only hurts; it doesn't sanitize for shit. Alcohol wipes only wipe off dirt, and clinics use them just because we're used to seeing them and consider it "Best practice." Alcohol wipes DO help sanitize hard items like stethoscopes.
DLBL 23
Alcohol in a drink doesn't kill hardly anything! I'd like to see the mouse who climbed into a glass to poop, then climbed out.
ClassieCassie 0
Hopefully, you submitted this from a doctors office. Ouch.
DLBL 23
What do you want the doctor to do?
jcash52426 5
Well know if you don't like something you eat and you can say it tastes like shit. And when they ask how do you know what shit tastes like you can say you accidentally ate some mouse shit.
alternative-facts 6
Hey, maybe it's a delicacy, like the worm in the tequila bottles? Not buying it? Neither am I. Ew!
pjsr 33
You need one more drink for each mouse turd ...at the very least
PennyLane27 32
Holy frick! Between you and the OP with the mom that eats stuff that falls in the drain, I just...I cant. I'm done. If you need me, I'll be scrubbing every inch of my house 12 times.
TheZombieGirl 22
Sorry OP, But from the burnt to a crisp mouse at the bottom of the stove at a family get together with another OP. To mouse turds at the bottom of your glass at a house warming party. Um, Just.. Trust no one...
Loloo434 23
Looks like the black plague might be starting sooner than I thought.
CrazyJolteon 0
Maybe it's chocolate? ?
Twisted_Angel 17
The real problem is, she probably put at least five turds in there. That sucks OP. Start taking your own glass when you visit her.