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Now you know never to contact him again. Who knows what diseases he is riddled with if he is such a slob. And even if he isn't, I would not want to have anything to do with him. He probably shits and pisses all around the toilette and can't bother to clean after himself. Ugh, it makes me shudder to imagine personal hygiene (or more likely - lack of it) of such a person.

And then is when you tell him that you remembered you had to get up early next morning and leave

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Now you know never to contact him again. Who knows what diseases he is riddled with if he is such a slob. And even if he isn't, I would not want to have anything to do with him. He probably shits and pisses all around the toilette and can't bother to clean after himself. Ugh, it makes me shudder to imagine personal hygiene (or more likely - lack of it) of such a person.

That's a little much

At least he cleans for you

And then is when you tell him that you remembered you had to get up early next morning and leave

There's something really wrong with a guy who not only does that, but tells someone.

I know it's considered weird but wearing a condom to masturbate really does prevent making a mess. Tissues work but they aren't full proof and require a hand which complicates things especially if using your phone. Just wear a glove even for self love.

Sounds kind of expensive.

Toilet paper works so much better than tissues. Wrap it around your hand and twist the end closed and you have a perfectly shaped spooge catcher.

Put a sock on it....

You need to alert the faculty that they need to put on hazmat gear to handle his homework. No worries about the exams, though -- evidently he has a good grip on his testes.

Bring a black light, it'll light up his room like a Christmas tree!

did he have unlawful carnal knowledge of office furniture?

Could be good boyfriend material, that is, if you’re ok with a guy who cheats on you with furniture. No one’s perfekt.