Kids and Health: Today, my husband and I did artificial insemination. At the hospital,...

By ch,nlv - 14/05/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I did artificial insemination. At the hospital, they mixed up the sperm and didn't realize until it was too late. I'm now pregnant with a stranger's baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 288

You deserved it 383

Kids Health

Deadlines whooshing by

Glass half empty

Suspicious

By Fantastic - 04/03/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 094

You deserved it 48 669

By cullenthegreat - 25/08/2016 16:26 - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 8 405

I didn't mean to hurt you, I'm sorry that I made you cry

By jenni - 06/04/2021 20:00

Today, my seven-year-old niece gave me a birthday card. Only she'd spelled my name as ‘Jenny.’ When I told her it was spelled with an i instead of a y, she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 970

By justmylife - 21/08/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years called my house even though I was with him at the time. He needed to talk to my mom. He asked her to break up with me for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 13:31 - United States - Newberry

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 277

You deserved it 6 856

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 21:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 283

You deserved it 8 484

By sorry, kiddo - 30/06/2013 21:44 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 307

You deserved it 10 130

By sausages - 17/01/2014 20:56 - Macedonia - Skopje

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 009

You deserved it 8 380

By Anonymous - 25/04/2012 14:33 - United States - Oakland

Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 462

You deserved it 2 709

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 05:47 - United States - Queen Creek

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 488

You deserved it 16 499

By Anonymous - 07/03/2018 09:00 - United States - Stamford

Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 776

You deserved it 272

Better Call Saul

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 16:01

Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 71

Grand Old Irony

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 02:12

Today, I asked my 'friend with benefits' if she'd consider actually dating me regularly. She said yes, but only if I joined the Republican Party, because she "would never date anyone who didn't fight for morality." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 831

By Lolaa123 - 25/09/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 138

You deserved it 3 846

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 18:31 - France

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 469

You deserved it 4 506

By Anonymous - 21/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 204

You deserved it 6 548

In the way

By Anonymous - 16/10/2021 05:00 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, I was on a camping trip, just about to pitch my tent, when the fire brigade showed up. No, I did not set anything ablaze. This nice, quiet little meadow I picked to spend the night? It’s their habitual training ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 178

By LadyLou - 03/11/2015 11:42 - Australia

Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 245

You deserved it 1 960

By Anonymous - 05/05/2014 21:03 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 122

You deserved it 18 310

By jauregz - 25/05/2017 00:00 - Australia - Lalor

Today, my neighbours had an extremely loud party, which began at midnight and didn't end until 6. I know this because I had a 15 minute sleep, seeing as I had to wake up at quarter past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 886

You deserved it 342

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 249

You deserved it 5 017

Wig out

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 18:00

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a toupee. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 140

By Hlaalette - 13/05/2015 13:57 - Belgium

Today, I managed to throw my back out by blowing my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 093

You deserved it 3 053

By Anonymous - 17/10/2012 05:18 - France - Saint-renan

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 4 622

By myownperson - 25/10/2011 08:17 - United States

Today, I ordered food at McDonald's. I'm on crutches, and a guy offered to carry my tray to the table. He rushed out with my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 411

You deserved it 3 591

By bandit99999 - 19/08/2011 18:59 - United States

Today, to keep my phone safe while I went on some rides, I took it out of my pocket so I could put it in my bag. Just as I pulled it out, a woman ran into me, knocking my phone to the ground and breaking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 987

You deserved it 2 841

By Emily - 01/08/2012 05:44 - Canada - Baden

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 3 274

By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia

Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 153

You deserved it 3 270

By noboyfriend - 24/05/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 214

You deserved it 26 459

By Lea - 16/03/2010 13:31 - United States

Today, I dropped my car keys down the elevator shaft at my dorm. I had parked my car at a parking meter, and now had no way to get change out of my car. It took six hours for someone to get my keys, and I now have a $75 parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 371

You deserved it 4 867

By inchetogb - 15/01/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 3 399

By Mal2222 - 12/02/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 260

You deserved it 35 079

By ugly - 15/04/2011 06:43 - Australia

Today, I was at the hairdressers getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 936

You deserved it 3 356

By okay then - 13/02/2013 22:09 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 750

You deserved it 3 508

By Anonymous - 28/02/2017 22:00

Today, as I was at Starbucks writing a paper, a man came and sat next to me. He started staring at me, then I noticed his hands were down his pants. It was noticeable that he was masturbating, so I went to tell a worker. They just said, "He's a regular" and didn't do anything about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 631

You deserved it 684

Sex ed failed some of y'all

By jaya - 25/10/2021 05:00

Today, at the age of 25, I learned that it is not normal to have absolutely zero sexual desire. All this time, I thought you had to have sex first before developing a sex drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 07:00 - United States - Valencia

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 469

You deserved it 4 534

By julichlove - 28/12/2014 00:52 - United States - Louisville

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 778

You deserved it 40 268

Ratatouille

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 25/04/2016 20:37 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I crawled under a table to plug a new lamp. When I tried to get up, I hit my head on the corner of the same table, getting me my fourth concussion in three years for trying to plug a f***ing lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 121

You deserved it 4 633

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Top comments

notesz 21

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Wednesday 2 May 2018 16:55

This is lawsuit material.

JasonThorn 18

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Wednesday 2 May 2018 15:31

Nice to know the hospital has just volunteered to pay for the costs of raising the child. If they haven't...MAKE THEM.

JasonThorn 18

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Wednesday 2 May 2018 15:31

Nice to know the hospital has just volunteered to pay for the costs of raising the child. If they haven't...MAKE THEM.

notesz 21

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Wednesday 2 May 2018 16:55

This is lawsuit material.

manb91uk 22

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Monday 14 May 2018 1:38

Tune in after the commercial break to find out what happens next - you won't BELIEVE what her husband does!

IMSCARJOHANSSON 24

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Monday 14 May 2018 1:49

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

RinoaHeartilly 36

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Monday 14 May 2018 5:11

Why do you need to know? Oh wait, you don't.

Lalala579121 27

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Monday 14 May 2018 6:41

Because they wanted to. What other reason do they need?

DragonMaiden7 15

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Monday 14 May 2018 6:53

Has it never occurred to you that couples could have problems conceiving on their own? She may have misshaped eggs, he may have low sperm count, either way, it really isn’t every Tom, Dick and Harry’s business why they choose artificial insemination

Allie614032 34

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Monday 14 May 2018 2:24

If you're not against abortion, you could get rid of this fetus as soon as possible and then make SURE it's your husband's sperm next time.

DragonMaiden7 15

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Monday 14 May 2018 6:50

Artificial insemination is expensive as hell dude, plus there is no guarantee that the second time will take. Also thanks to Dictator Trump and his Idiot Administration, a lot of Planned Parenthood’s are shut down. Which means no safe place to get an abortion. So it’s a screwed if you do-screwed if you don’t situation.

xXDemonWolfXx 13

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Monday 14 May 2018 16:59

Lmao “dictator Trump” you people never fail to make me laugh

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 14 May 2018 7:42

Don’t worry, DM7, rich people will always be able to get abortions. The Orwellian-named “pro-life” movement only wants to oppress poor women. They don’t want to take on the fat cats who impregnate their mistresses and need their fixers to erase the problem. There are probably many Trump bastards out there and an untold number of aborted fetuses with Donald’s DNA.

chubbear 14

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Monday 14 May 2018 20:23

You guys downvote this, but you know it's true.

Allie614032 34

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Monday 14 May 2018 10:10

I know artificial insemination is expensive. I figured the hospital would cover it, considering they fucked up the first time. Perhaps they would cover more than one, if the first one doesn't take.

Misoranomegami 16

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Monday 14 May 2018 15:45

If they fertilized the entire set of eggs with the wrong sperm that means potentially months of painful injections and jabs ro collect new eggs assuming that they even can. That's a pretty big gamble to take if they're already having fertility issues.

Seeya55 31

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Monday 14 May 2018 16:13

Yes its expensive, but with what happened, whatever lawsuit they WILL win will pay for it. Because HOLY SHIT that's a BIG ACCIDENT. Where I went, they confirmed names and numbers with the sperm vials and egg containers. They made sure the numbers matched, and confirmed with ME PERSONALLY! Holy shit this hospital fucked up!

blondie45 21

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Monday 14 May 2018 2:42

Its a little early to tell if you’re pregnant if the artificial insemination was only done today...

lizzstalker 15

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Monday 14 May 2018 3:34

Every FML has to start with the word today. The procedure may have been done weeks ago and op just recently found it what happened

blondie45 21

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Tuesday 15 May 2018 0:25

Thank you smart ass - I know how FML works... OP could then have started her post saying “today I found out that the artificial insemination I had done a few weeks ago...”

Huldan MeGroyn 13

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Tuesday 15 May 2018 20:31

Hey, look! I found the entitled brat in the post!

hitmanoo 16

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Monday 14 May 2018 3:42

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

cornyrob 33

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Wednesday 16 May 2018 3:59

Like, "I swear i wasn't already pregnant with another man's baby when i went to get inseminated."

DragonMaiden7 15

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Monday 14 May 2018 3:42

Did someone say LAWSUIT?! Seriously though, this was a gigantic fuck-up. Hospitals actually make a lot of mistakes that range from screwing up minor medications to fatal flaws on the operation table, yet they are often protected by bullshit legal loophole’s. If you have the proof that this is 100% the hospital’s fault and can get a great lawyer that will only charge you after you win, you and your husband will have one hell of a case on your hands, and hopefully you can set some sort of standard for hospitals.