Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
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Top comments
hippodankamus 22
*incoming puns related to shit and poop*
gm1beanzz 14
Birds are assholes.
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Comments (51)
Amorettex 19
Shitty luck.
bleedingglitter 24
I have never actually been pooped on by a bird but I can imagine that it would ruin your day. We had an outdoor wedding and the entire time I thought to myself "if ever there was a day for a bird to shit on me it would be today"
sally_jangl 13
squish that bird
CODplayer4lyfe 24
All of these puns are shit, and the comments are going down the toilet.
WOTAN1488 24
Shit.
worldclassrager 41
Time to go home and take a quick shower...hope you can get all of it out OP
MdMan2 23
What a shitty situation.
PhinIt2WinIt 24
I saw an fml like this before.
LaFlame 1
sorry op, shit happens
myrle0 11
Tats some pretty birdy shitt! :-D