Today, I went to a fancy beauty parlor to prepare for my sister's birthday party. The minute I stepped out of the salon, with my hair beautifully trimmed and curled, a bird decided to use it as a toilet. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML
Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML
Today, I spent 30 minutes fixing my hair to perfection, only to step outside and have it immediately ruined by a freak gust of rain and wind. The only thing I accomplished was looking like a disheveled bird's nest for the rest of the day. FML
Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
hippodankamus 22
*incoming puns related to shit and poop*
gm1beanzz 14
Birds are assholes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
powerkeep 24
Bird poop is good luck though.
zarrganaut 17
They say that's good luck.
kiyash 14
It was just giving you good luck, OP.
CyberSeeker 20
If the bird fancied it then everyone at the birthday party would have too.
rachh6421 12
eh it's meant to be good luck
caaguilar 18
It's good luck in some countries
Naomi Lacelle 14
On a lighter note, that must be some fancy party if you're getting your hair professionally done for the occasion.