Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML
Today, my church friends ditched me to go skiing with a bunch of jewish basketball players from another school. They said I’d "harsh the vibe" with my "principles". The photos they post online look like they’re having a lot of fun. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML
Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML
Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML
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Top comments
time4coffee 3
I am Christian and that kind of jamming Jesus down my throat makes gag.
Babushka_Homyak 10
I can already foresee most of the comments condemning OP for not being Christian. FYL OP, no one deserves to be forced into religious gatherings/ceremonies/etc.
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Comments (35)
Boddmon 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Jesus loves you
Ser0 0
this I know
nadsm 0
for the Bible tells me so.
turdburgers 0
they learned a song! how cute!
deadheroz 0
Little ones to him belong
Boddmon 0
Oh dear, what have I started?
MoonyIce 0
You must not know your friend very well if you didn't realize they'd be the kind of person to go to this. :/ Way to go.
butlerreid 0
you should have not been a dumbass and assumed.
turdburgers 0
yep. It'd be nice to be able to be friends with someone without the awkward conversation of "I don't believe in it and there's no way you're going to change my mind so can we just talk about something else?"
kirakira333 0
that sucks. I feel your pain... been there done that :/
randomaccountnam 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for being a heathen.
deadheroz 0
You deserve worse for being ignorant and close minded.
Emico_fml 0
Say something blasphemous, and hopefully they'll kick you out.
jj79242 0
JEEEEEEEEEESUS ..... Beat that friends ass
perdix 31
I think you are now, even if you didn't get any ******* marshmallows. The good news is now that the gates of Heaven are open to you, the Afterlife buffet features all the marshmallows you can eat. The bad news is that you'll have to descend to Hell to roast them.
Sdras 0
You just made my day with this comment _O_
nadsm 0
hahahaha. same.
thatz_bs 0
so u athius,Jewish what are u then
gary1984 0
so what you Marxist douche why ruin it for everyone else and who's to say there isn't a god?? hmmm alot of douche bags say because you can't see it it isn't real well umm is your brain real? how do you know have you ever seen it? no you haven't oh and is air real? can you see it? dumb liberal douche bag Marxist it's retards like you why this country is going to shit go hug a tree and hump obamas leg
turdburgers 0
This is quite possibly the stupidest argument I've ever heard in my life.
050294 0
Yes, we know brains exist because of autopsies and air due to chem labs. That was a horrible argument, now **** off, bible humper.
zaphilia 0
I love how you make all these assumptions about the OP just because he/she isn't Christian. What if the OP was Jewish? Or Buddhist? Or Muslim? Or practiced another religion? The OP didn't say a word about being an atheist, FYI.
M3owM3ow 0
umm yes my brain's real. have I seen it? no. do I want to? no. why would u compare brain to air? haha!!
gary1984 0
lol ok and you know your brain exists because of a dead person? ok so you saw this yourself? your a dumb douche yourself how about this I take a dump and you eat the corn out of it :)
gary1984 0
it's things you haven't seen maybe you should read more often or read what I said again I got a good idea for you how about you cut your pecker off and throw it in the tall grass :)