Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, "get closer to Jesus" camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom sent me to a counselor she knew "through the church" so that I could get some stressors off my chest. Worst idea ever. This "counselor" invalidated everything I had to say and basically told me to pray the issues away, all while completely ignoring me. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML
Today, my church friends ditched me to go skiing with a bunch of jewish basketball players from another school. They said I’d "harsh the vibe" with my "principles". The photos they post online look like they’re having a lot of fun. FML
Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML
Today, during a family road trip, my mom decided to spring a surprise conversion on us. This included screaming bible verses, blasting crazy gospel music and sobbing that we needed to repent before we’re all condemned to hell for eternity. She did this for 4 hours straight. FML
Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML
Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML
Today, my friends and I went camping. In the middle of the night, they carried me deep into the forest and left me there. I stepped on a beehive as I walked back to the tent. FML
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Top comments
time4coffee 3
I am Christian and that kind of jamming Jesus down my throat makes gag.
Babushka_Homyak 10
I can already foresee most of the comments condemning OP for not being Christian. FYL OP, no one deserves to be forced into religious gatherings/ceremonies/etc.
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Comments (35)
sidvoltaire 0
aw man! that had to suck. I'm never going camping again.
CallMeHush 1
Think of it as hedging your bets.
yma24 0
@7 Just because you attend Sunday Services, doesn't mean you go to Heaven. you have to believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord. and that's how you get to Heaven.
scotts13 2
Just do what I do - try to convert them right back, to Satanism. You'll be out of there like a shot. I LOVE inviting the door-to-door god guys in, serving then coffee from my "666" mugs... and I'm Catholic!
gary1984 0
your cool
gary1984 0
don't worry about this dude he probably believes we were put here by aliens or some Tom cruise believing bs haha dumb retard I have to tell you my friend hell is pretty malevolent to your kind :) have fun god is coming soon and I'll watch idiots like you wonder what just happened
deadheroz 0
*presses imaginary like button*
gary1984 0
oh my you are a sacastic one can I be like you when I grow up? it's something I always wanted!! ;)
xCSxANTICSx 0
lol the Same thing happened to me.
050294 0
It sucks when people shove their religious views down your throat, it happens to me a lot because I'm an Athiest. I'm ok with religion as long as you don't force it on someone.
atigger4yoi 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wah. poor baby. listen up you may learn something.
050294 0
And be forced to agree with other's religious views? Hell no.
aback 5
Surprise them with a trip to a Pagan campground. They'll love it!
BlueTwist89 0
Lol. Sounds like torture to me. My parents stopped taking me to church when I was like in third grade. I absolutely hated it and would make it uncomfortable and unenjoyable for everyone around me. Seemed pretty pointless to me. So when my uncle dragged my brother, sister, and I to church for a service(1-2hours), it was sooo awful. Not only that, but we were the only ones that didn't know the songs. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to you. FYL!