FML : Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex...

165

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By embarrassed / Monday 18 August 2014 16:39 / United States - Great Neck

Intimacy

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Top comments

By ShadowlessSpear | 21

#6041525 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

By imlifeless2 | 25

#6041532 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Comments

By ShadowlessSpear | 21

#6041525 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:40

Hopefully he didnt ask what it was and poke it.

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041561 - Monday 18 August 2014 23:02

Don't be a Mike now.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6041624 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:16

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Ian7890 | 23

#6041653 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:58

#40 My uncle is a Mike

MisterGasMoney | 16

#6041781 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 4:34

Well, Nobody likes him!

xxrogerthatxx | 19

#6041880 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 8:18

Who's Mike?

LennySimps48 | 3

#6041929 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 9:44

#108 some who got his his dick poked by his friend because his friend saw it poking out by his pocket and asked him whathe got there

JocelynKaulitz | 28

#6041966 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 11:09

Just repeat the pledge of allegiance until it goes away.

lsvxoxo | 12

#6042090 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 14:35

Ha, I understood that reference.

Googolman | 28

#6042102 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 14:53

124 - Good for you?

Ilmoran | 19

#6042122 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 15:32

You've got it backward 114, Mike was the one who poked his friends dick.

xxrogerthatxx | 19

#6042193 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 17:51

thank you!

musicmanbilly | 8

#6042768 - Wednesday 20 August 2014 8:52

Why even bring that up?

By who_else00 | 12

#6041526 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:41

Did he notice???

morondon000 | 14

#6041528 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:43

I agree that would be awkward if he noticed. And spark some bad questions.

Nilorak | 24

#6041531 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

No he was with his girlfriend's dad.

morondon000 | 14

#6041537 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:45

Ya I re-read it and corrected myself, sorry for that.

flufee2 | 26

#6041718 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:46

Lets hope he noticed, for the daughters sake lol

elibel | 16

#6041721 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:48

Trooo

Chezzlova | 5

#6041809 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 5:08

Your profile picture just proves how amazing you are.

By senor_octubre | 24

#6041530 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

That's awkward

Nilorak | 24

#6041535 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:45

You don't say.

Zougibourg_fml | 6

#6041696 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:03

Captain obvious, hello.

lord_meloetta | 20

#6041766 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 4:10

No it's very pleasant

By imlifeless2 | 25

#6041532 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

Oh say, can you see? By my dick's early rise...

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041571 - Monday 18 August 2014 23:08

Oh so proudly we hailed, at my boners hard feeling.

leopardwilliam | 22

#6041590 - Monday 18 August 2014 23:48

@25 that seemed forced

noisyboy4000 | 23

#6041644 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:44

@28 thanks for ruining the chain

tigerisabelle | 31

#6041735 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 3:21

Whose broad girth and bright eye,
Through the tiresome night
o'er the ramparts she watched,
as it stood, liquid streaming.

(too far?)

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041753 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 3:47

You say too far, I say not far enough....

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041761 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 4:01

In the woman's red glare, me cumming inside there. Gave proof through the night, that my dick was still there.

I'm done for a while...

7Maverick | 10

#6042428 - Wednesday 20 August 2014 0:01

Genius.

basalt | 4

#6042796 - Wednesday 20 August 2014 9:52

dude i love u haha (jk)
tht was pure genius

ladymunchkin742 | 10

#6044297 - Thursday 21 August 2014 23:10

Your pic looks like it's singing. I wish I could double like this

Zerizle | 19

#6046089 - Saturday 23 August 2014 20:40

We're all getting deported

hambro | 9

#6219352 - Monday 2 March 2015 20:48

did anybody else sing the whole song thing

By _FML_Austin_ | 12

#6041533 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:44

At least you didn't Catch any Foul looks from her father!

barfcannon | 24

#6041539 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:47

I'm going to put a shortstop to this pun chain before it goes any farther

_FML_Austin_ | 12

#6041547 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:52

This thread still has another 2 strikes #12, no need to be so bunt about it...

baseballbv | 17

#6041563 - Monday 18 August 2014 23:03

As much as I'd like to slide into this chain, perhaps I should just bench myself.

izntdan | 14

#6041581 - Monday 18 August 2014 23:27

Wow guys all of these puns have really been home runs

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041606 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:00

I'm not gonna be a hardball about this but we better stop before someone throws a fastball past us.

pessimistprime | 4

#6041617 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:08

Fuck this, I don't know baseball lingo.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6041626 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:22

37, you're out

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041664 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 1:30

#41

Who's up to bat now?

BubbleGrunge | 18

#6041690 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:00

52-Who's on first.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6041707 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 2:19

58 you're safe!

cjwayy | 22

#6041795 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 4:55

All of you just struck out.

gjikvtj | 18

#6041823 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 5:37

Baseball Bat

johobus28 | 26

#6041827 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 5:49

This chain started out great but turned foul quickly.

Enslaved | 36

#6041828 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 5:51

Did I miss "Peanut butter jelly time"?

_FML_Austin_ | 12

#6041837 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 6:22

Those 3 strikes I talked about are way out of the park....

Way2Fast8 | 20

#6041845 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 6:34

Fml is where I learn all my puns

By Queenie2014 | 11

#6041534 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:45

......

kinky44 | 28

#6041536 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:45

Go on.

By aire101 | 16

#6041540 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:47

Classical conditioning at its finest.

Zebediabolical | 36

#6041642 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 0:41

Classical conditioning at it's finest... When I was in the US Army in the 90's, I beat off so much in the shower that I still get a hardon ever time it rains.

Kyle1dc | 17

#6041673 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 1:42

Who kind of 'murican doesn't get a hard on from the national anthem?!

By LostInTheZone11 | 26

#6041550 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:56

Well, that's one odd way to salute.

naajster | 14

#6041877 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 8:09

at least he's standing up for the national anthem.. national pride I must say

By vikky538 | 28

#6041551 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:57

perfect song for flag raising ceremony...

By JBChristian | 46

#6041553 - Monday 18 August 2014 22:58

Find a song that her father doesn't like or listen to. That should fix any future awkward "problems" with him.

tournamentdecide | 33

#6041902 - Tuesday 19 August 2014 9:21

It isn't that the girlfriend's father enjoyed listening to the song, it's the fact that OP and said father were at a baseball game. The anthem was unavoidable.