Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
The dead art of the PUA
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Awww, my feefees
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Nice try
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
kewlaidman10 15
Wow nice one douche.
kimpe 6
"PUAs" are the worst kind of human being. Learn to talk to women like people, not like a computer program.
doubleea 3
I find it very hard to believe people like 'mystery' are actually successful with women.
doctorhook86 25
114: Some women are probably very easy and desperate to begin with. Just like Galapagos Island finches, Mystery has evolved to feed off of this specific subgroup.
tcook912 9
You couldn't just tell her you thought she was pretty ?
Airman1988 9
Not that I'm encouraging lame pick up lines, but just telling random girls their pretty wouldn't seem to be terribly effective either. Every week as I go to my favorite local bar to play pool and enjoy a brew or two on payday, I sit and watch guys approach women using both methods, and both seem to always end the same except some times they get laughed at using lines.
tcook912 9
I agree nothing works all the time. But still, I would rather a guy just tell me he thinks I'm pretty instead of using some lame and relatively rude method he learned about online.
sirpantselot 22
Yeah, 41, because girls hate it when you think they're pretty and when guys are honest.
Airman1988 9
84 at no point in my comment did I say not to be honest or that girls don't like being called pretty, I was simply saying that going up to random girls and telling them they are pretty doesn't seem to be terribly effective from what I've seen. You have to remember that even creep asshole players have caught on to the fact that girls like to be called pretty, beautiful etc. and use it just as often as the guys who sincerely say it. So any girl that has experienced that isn't gonna be instantly impressed with a random guy telling her that ,even if its flattering just because they know some guys will say anything to get in the panties.
ciaraohagan94 5
Well yeah obviously if you just walk up to a girl and say "You're pretty" with as much grace as Patrick Star before introducing yourself a girl is going to shoot you down. But if guys actually tried to talk to her it might work out. And if it doesn't well then that's all acceptable as long as she doesn't laugh at you. Just cause she said no doesn't mean another girl will. Although if you're just looking for a hook up then that method might not work.
olpally 33
You guess you're a scumbag??? You are one!! Just be yourself next time, idiot.
brackaman 18
Maybe his normal self is even worse if he considered that to be the better alternative.
doctorhook86 25
76: Learning how to interact with women is exactly the same as learning how to interact with men. Dude needs to polish his social skills, period.
bfsd42 20
I think we have a troll in our midst.
Mahtari 19
Are you retarded?
Bekll 31
I don't blame her. What a ******** move.
mas1995 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah you might want to hear tricks from different pickup artists.
LollipopDragon 4
Or just stay away from pick- up artists in general.
fordneagles 34
Good for her! Dumbass.
zenrael 21
And you are surprised by this how?
jess183xp 1
You're cute :)
emilyjgraham 34
message him then 118, that's why the function is there!