Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Your brother is a genius! Trying to distract the knife yielding maniac with a gender identity crisis-inducing question! You are lucky to be alive to write this....
arandomusernameaa 20
Your brother needs to learn to keep his mouth shut...
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Comments (82)
worldclassrager 41
Most muggers are men but was the voice that hard to figure out? So glad he didn't have a gun you would have probably lost your brother
BoltTheSuperdog 22
So, what was the gender?
_rina_lee_ 5
Well, what gender was the mugger?
Drag0nb0rn 22
Why on earth would you ever have any desire to go to Cleveland unless you were going to Cedar Point or something that place is terrible.
simay_fml 1
That is why I carry my CCW.
Masonjar13 10
Your brother is either a badass or very stupid. Either way, it presumably worked, so I'd choose badass.
tabbydionysis 18
Luckily for the mugger this didn't happen in Texas, Wyoming, Utah, etc.
ep27 8
At least you're alive and not hurt. I have a friend that had the same thing happened to him
valll8 2
Yep, sounds like Cleveland.
makitokito 14
Students at my old high school made a video cuz they were tired of people saying Cleveland sucks and its bad. Here is a good reason why.