Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend, when a guy pulled a knife and told us to hand over our money. My boyfriend blurted "I don't have shit, dude! She has tons of cash!" The moment the mugger turned to me, my boyfriend ran away at top speed. FML
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML
Today, while going to work, I was mugged. On the way back, I was mugged. FML
Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML
Today, after volunteering all day at the homeless shelter, I was mugged on my way to my car. FML
Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
Today, I walked to my local McDonald's. I spent the last 7 dollars I had on my meal. As I began to walk back to my dorm, I was mugged. I explained to them I had no money, so they stole my food. FML
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Top comments
Vidrill 22
Your brother is a genius! Trying to distract the knife yielding maniac with a gender identity crisis-inducing question! You are lucky to be alive to write this....
arandomusernameaa 20
Your brother needs to learn to keep his mouth shut...
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Comments (82)
Saikon1357 25
Your brother is hilarious.
ThomasBombadil 31
Not in my book.
setsuna9 25
Oh my. Which part of Cleveland were you in?
sanecatlady 13
Sounds like Drew Carey was wrong. Cleveland does *not* rock.
japtap81 16
Sounds like Cleveland alright lol
tompou6 19
1 out of 101 things not to say to a mugger
middlenamefrank 8
Hey, it can really be tough to tell with some of those Clevelanders!
FalconLeSnail 7
I can't be the only one who read that in buttheads voice.
Jesszombie 1
Only reason this is an FML is because you actually got robbed in Cleveland. That NEVER happens.
midnightmango 13
That's really funny omg
MannyM 20
he obviously wanted to defend you but he also can't hit a woman, he had to ask lol