By CheeseAndCrackers - 30/4/2020 08:00

Everyone loves a weepie

Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
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By  RichardPencil  |  28

You should memorize the Jim Gaffigan Hot Pockets comedy bit and recite it when he prepares this delicacy.

He'll laugh so hard, he won't notice you tossing the half-frozen junk in the garbage.

Comments
By  RichardPencil  |  28

You should memorize the Jim Gaffigan Hot Pockets comedy bit and recite it when he prepares this delicacy.

He'll laugh so hard, he won't notice you tossing the half-frozen junk in the garbage.

Reply
  tounces7  |  26

Yeah there are complete wusses who are into either men or women. Hopefully for his sake he just has something really minor wrong with him like a brain tumor, and it's not just his normal personality.

By  Ariane Bolt  |  6

My brother wrote a book called The Favored, where the following are arrestable offenses:
Not expressing sufficient gratitude to God for literally everything good you ever get
Not having a working phone attached to your body at any particular time
Generosity (eg, if God wanted them to have money, it would just fall out of the sky and hit them)
Being poor (eg, you must have done something wrong if God doesn't want you to have money)

This marriage doesn't seem much better.