Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a guy I met online. He seemed nice at first, but as we were walking he suddenly stopped and said, "I have to pee." He walked over to urinate on a nearby tree while I awkwardly stood there. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. I arrived early and waited for him for over an hour. When he finally showed up, he was wearing the exact same outfit as me. FML
Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. Ten minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
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Top comments
Joshwarrior 39
Maybe he thought you were boring :/ it works both ways you know
Sandsh8rk 36
"I was gonna get a girl, but then I got high...."
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Comments (53)
phooy1 11
Ohh that's just stone cold... *cricket* Anyone? No? Ok I'll go.
menfearme 10
He's dismissed... NEXT!
Zebediabolical 45
The biggest problem I see here is that he didn't offer to share!
blackonblight 33
My question is why you stuck around after his first weed break. If it was the turn off you imply in the FML, I would not have forced myself to endure it. Having known too many potheads in highschool, I don't even bother being polite about it. The stuff stinks. I'll straight up say 'that weed smell is giving me a headache. I'm going to have to leave. Now.' And if they don't like it, it's no loss for me to not be in their company.
amisenho 11
I agree with you there. I had a few friends who'd get together and pass it around, then they'd ask me to try it. I'd say, "No, thanks," and let them continue while I took notes on their interactions. Then, I was pretty much shamed by my parents and in-laws when I confessed to them that I'd never tried it. Can't stand the smell of the stuff; it's like being around someone who smokes cigarettes or cigars. I will say that cigarillos, on the other hand, smell like hot cocoa; it's the only kind that's the least bit tolerable.
insertnamehereno 9
How do you know the smell of weed?
Axel5238 29
Sorry to hear that OP. Sounds like you dogged a bullet. I could see someone not finding it attractive. I used to have a few friends that smoked and l've never known anyone that smoked that actually kept it "recreational" /weekends. They have always gone overboard with it by mid to late twenties they just seem kinda sad and liability ( driving while high, smoking every day...)
thew_fml 14
weed is good
Bonefish84 6
As a toker I generally don't date a girl that doesn't partake. Just makes things less complicated. It's generally something I bring up before I ask them out.
smartjaguargurl 17
It's ok, OP, I'd be upset if he didn't offer to share too.
TheMystery13 13
Just ignore all the dumbass ******** stoner assholes here. Eventually they'll all be either dying alone and forgotten in mommy's basement and/or sucking dick to pay the rent, your date included.
ninety 25
Weelll, I would say it applies to the majority of the stoners I personally knew. 26/27+ year olds still living at mommy and daddy's, blowing pay checks or child support on lifestyles they won't give up in order to take care of themselves or their kids. I'm sure everyone here is the exception to the stereotypes, though.
canadianmonsta 5
Not every stoner lives with there parents allot of ppl are successful like myself I own my current house and I'm building a new one, smoking weed has nothing to do with living at home with parents