Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going...

By Anonymous - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

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Love

Age ain't nothing but a number

Honesty is the best policy

Freak out

By BossesLittleBrat - United States - Jamestown

Today, my brat of a coworker tried to convince our boss that I should get paid half of what I'm making because I broke my right arm. I'm left handed, broke it on the job, and still doing a better job than her. She makes double what I do. FML

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By Gabrielguitar - United States

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

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By KobraKommander - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I got unbelievably drunk and pissed in the corner of my room, all over a plug socket, which blew out the electrics. FML

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By dominator152 - United States

Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML

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By Olorin - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

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By Weightlosshereicome - United States - Oxford

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Southam

Today, I got called a "politically correct loser" by a woman at the supermarket, all because I said I didn't want to find out the gender of my baby until birth. FML

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By MillyMan - United States

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

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By Animal_aide - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

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By Evjoel - Bermuda - Hamilton

Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML

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By ClairvoyantVamp - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my aunt posted a picture of my butt in a bikini bottom on Facebook. I didn't even know she had taken that picture. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Oakville

Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML

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By dirtythief - Philippines - San Juan

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boss for a couple of days off to recover from a nasty ear infection which has left me hard of hearing. However, he didn't understand why that would affect my job and refused. I work in a telephone call centre. FML

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By Anonymous - Norway

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

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By john r.t. - United States - Eagle Pass

Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

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27593

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

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By wintersoldier - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

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By DonMare - Australia

Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML

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By JackAttack - United States

Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML

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By I Heart My Cats and Dogs

Pet Store Madness

Today, I was filling out an application for a job at a local pet store. At the end of it, they wanted a paragraph about any pets I had. After a while, I found myself finishing a 3-page essay about them. That's the longest essay I've ever written. FML

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By bob the builders pissed off daughter - United States - Campbell

Today, my dad got drunk and decided to fix everything in the house he thought was broken. Now the oven won't cook, half the floorboards from the stairs are piled in the garden, we put the TV back together but now it is stuck on mute, and we still have no idea where he has put my bedroom door. FML

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By and the truth comes out - Canada - Courtenay

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

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By Sarah220 - United States

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

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By melimelo24 - Australia - Clayton

Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML

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By poops - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

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24987

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

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By tori210

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

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By DeepCleanAcne

Today, I found out that my intense acne is actually an allergic reaction to the "deep clean" product I've been using to reduce it. I've been using this product for the past ten years. Ten years of suffering through "acne" could have been easily avoided. FML

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By 99Problemsandfml - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

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By single and unbuggered - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. He didn't break down into tears, or say he'd made a huge mistake, or even apologise. No, he just looked up and said "Bugger." FML

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By weldingmachine217 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

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By CJune24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

The Great Pretender

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

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By f*** - United States

Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML

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By what the actual fuck - United States - Puyallup

Today, I was debating with my now ex-boyfriend over the ethics of using torture in interrogations of suspected criminals. It took just ten minutes before he freely admitted that he'd have no problem "torturing the shit" out of me if he even suspected I was seeing another man. FML

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By thatsucks - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that my housemate used a dry vacuum to unclog the toilet before moving out and then didn't change the vacuum bag. He left several weeks ago. FML

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By Andrea Trevor

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

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By momac86 - United States

Today, I lost a sewing needle in the carpet. No worries, my big toe found it. FML

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Top comments

By Peacelove0404 | 26

#6229932 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:34

Well now you know that he isn't your right person either. Don't give up hope OP :)

By wtffml1979 | 22

#6229947 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Better to find out now then after putting a lot of effort into it first. Good luck OP you will be fine.

COMMENTS

By Peacelove0404 | 26

#6229932 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:34

Well now you know that he isn't your right person either. Don't give up hope OP :)

apitrix | 24

#6230011 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:40

OP, maybe you should tell him what he should stick! Best luck and happy hunting for your dream person :)

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230121 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:36

however, I think if its a first date, up to say the 4th, it's an acceptable question. what'll he say? "oh thank god I can delete my profile now...."

By Space_Teddy | 29

#6229933 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:35

Sounds like a first and last date. Hope you'll find your prince Charming somewhere OP

By colton_colton | 49

#6229934 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:36

You'll find your perfect match! Don't worry about one online guy OP

By bearstyle22 | 11

#6229936 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:39

its all about meeting new people. Dont worry about it and maybe you guys could become friends?

By hippodankamus | 22

#6229938 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:40

Keep searching OP, you'll find the one eventually.

By dawood_k | 27

#6229939 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:42

Friend zoned on a dating site...wow that's a new one

Mitchellbassists | 29

#6229965 - Thursday 12 March 2015 12:15

I think he was conveying he didn't want to date her rather than friend-zoning her. I may be wrong though.

DoomedGemini | 37

#6229993 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:05

That's literally friendzoning. Someone doesn't want to date the person and the person feels it's the worst thing in the world

TylerDV | 11

#6230015 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:44

Don't you kind of have to be friends first before you get friend zoned? This sounds like it was just a first date where the guy just wasn't interested in the girl.

kylieh72 | 25

#6230023 - Thursday 12 March 2015 14:16

There's also nothing suggesting that he wanted to have a friendship after the date, so it's just plain old rejection.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230122 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:38

I believe that's the exact opposite of "a need one"

By AnFrickenTwan | 19

#6229941 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:42

Seems like a jerk! I'm sure your right guy will come along though!

ExtremeEncounter | 32

#6230103 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:03

Sounds more like he just didn't want to take the relationship any further as he didn't feel anything. Not necessarily a jerk.

By aubamas | 20

#6229943 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:46

he surely isn't a keeper

IAmzephyr | 22

#6230145 - Thursday 12 March 2015 18:12

I don't think he cares either way

By xxlittlemsanime | 24

#6229946 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Seems like an asshole. Don't worry OP your Prince Charming will come soon.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230123 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:39

maybe it was a first date?

Demon_of_Light | 27

#6230407 - Friday 13 March 2015 0:05

Why is he an asshole? It seems to me like they went on a date to see if they were compatible, and he felt like OP was not right for him. If it's not there, you can't force it.

wtffml1979 | 22

#6242291 - Tuesday 24 March 2015 20:43

Your right, but just come out and say it. Either end it or just say we can hang out since we're out anyway and try to have fun. Don't ask if they should keep coming here for dates.

By wtffml1979 | 22

#6229947 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Better to find out now then after putting a lot of effort into it first. Good luck OP you will be fine.