Love: Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going...

By Anonymous - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

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Love

Dementia or hate? You decide

BO Central

Boundaries

By Anonymous - United States - Coplay

Today, my school brought in therapy dogs to help with stress. I was attacked by one of them. FML

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By ? - United States

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

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By cigarettes - United States

Today, I was having sex when a cigarette craving came on. I don't know what's worse, the fact I asked for a cigarette break in the middle of sex or I last that long. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Brandon

Wrong sort of poking

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

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By Jdub - United States

Today, I went to a real Japanese restaurant with my sister and mom, where you had to take off your shoes and sit on the floor. After the meal, I realized my shoes were no longer where I put them. For the seven years the restaurant has been open, I'm the first person to get their shoes stolen. FML

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By Salliemae - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend took my car on a 3-day vacation, stranding me in our extremely rural town. I have a box of ziti, a jar of expired pickles, no cable or Netflix, and no water since the well ran dry. Why am I here? "Someone needs to stay with the dog and feed the cows." FML

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By hockeymango57

J'accuse...!

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

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By gracie511

Today, my flight was delayed 3 hours so I was scrolling through my phone. Minding my own business, I was swiping through tinder and some guy behind me goes, “Ouch; hard no for that one?” And I turn around only to see the man I JUST swiped left on. FML.

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a drunk man started yelling at the lamppost outside my house, demanding to be let inside, all while my neighbors watched. That man is my dad. FML

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By m0m - Belgium - Brasschaat

Today, I had to explain to my 27 year-old sister why a stainless steel fork isn't a good toy for my 8 month-old baby. Twice. FML

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By Clumsy

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

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By Username

Today, I learned that chivalry truly is dead when a seemingly fit man pushed me into a door to get a seat on the train before me. My leg is in a cast. FML

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Glittery letters

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

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By embarassinggg - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my mum came to my ballet class. She spent the whole lesson sitting at the back yelling at me to "stop sticking your butt out". My ballet instructor had to ask her several times to pipe down. FML

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By maybenot - United Kingdom

Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Stockton

Today, I found out the record label I was talking to was actually just my friends who have way too much time on their hands. FML

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By titkip - Kenya - Nairobi

Today, I got a text from a call girl. She asked me to delete her number because I am too demanding. FML

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By awkward - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

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By BlueMacaw - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

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By mistake - United States

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

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By mizzleshizzle - Canada

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

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By intheairtonight - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML

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By yikes :/

Today, the cute coworker who's been flirting with me drove me home. While I was contemplating asking him to kiss me, he politely told me to, "Please get out, I promised my girlfriend I'd pick her up." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Salem

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

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By imscrewed - Canada - Toronto

Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML

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By soy_un_perderdor - United States

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

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By lawl - Canada

Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend had blonde hair, big boobs and wore a skimpy black dress. He wasn't 100% sure of her name. I guess I drove home my date's one night stand. FML

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By azmom - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

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By thanksdad - United States - Beaverton

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

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By 0h_Boy

Death Rattle part 2: Electric Boogaloo

Today, at my job in a funeral home, I was transferring a body off a stretcher when it exhaled its last breath. Right into my face. FML

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By jseid2 - United States - San Leandro

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

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By Username

Today, as I was filling out divorce paperwork, I realized that my son has had the same girlfriend through both of my marriages. He's 17. FML

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By nolips - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

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By ohno - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of 3 years out to where we had our first date. I proposed to her. She breaks down in tears as she tells me she's been sleeping with her co-worker for the past year. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my stepson objected to being woken up at almost dinner time. He knows I have PTSD from my 2 tours of duty, so he turned his speakers way up and blasted the sounds of gunfire through the whole house. I hyperventilated and passed out. Little bastard. FML

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By anne

Today, I happily told my husband I'm pregnant. He happily informed me that very, VERY large babies run in his family, and even though he was born 3 weeks early, he still weighed 15 lbs. The smallest baby to ever be born into his family was his great grandmother, who was 12 lbs. OH GOD, THE PAIN. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

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Top comments

By Peacelove0404 | 26

#6229932 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:34

Well now you know that he isn't your right person either. Don't give up hope OP :)

By wtffml1979 | 22

#6229947 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Better to find out now then after putting a lot of effort into it first. Good luck OP you will be fine.

COMMENTS

By Peacelove0404 | 26

#6229932 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:34

Well now you know that he isn't your right person either. Don't give up hope OP :)

apitrix | 24

#6230011 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:40

OP, maybe you should tell him what he should stick! Best luck and happy hunting for your dream person :)

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230121 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:36

however, I think if its a first date, up to say the 4th, it's an acceptable question. what'll he say? "oh thank god I can delete my profile now...."

By Space_Teddy | 29

#6229933 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:35

Sounds like a first and last date. Hope you'll find your prince Charming somewhere OP

By colton_colton | 49

#6229934 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:36

You'll find your perfect match! Don't worry about one online guy OP

By bearstyle22 | 11

#6229936 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:39

its all about meeting new people. Dont worry about it and maybe you guys could become friends?

By hippodankamus | 22

#6229938 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:40

Keep searching OP, you'll find the one eventually.

By dawood_k | 27

#6229939 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:42

Friend zoned on a dating site...wow that's a new one

Mitchellbassists | 29

#6229965 - Thursday 12 March 2015 12:15

I think he was conveying he didn't want to date her rather than friend-zoning her. I may be wrong though.

DoomedGemini | 37

#6229993 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:05

That's literally friendzoning. Someone doesn't want to date the person and the person feels it's the worst thing in the world

TylerDV | 11

#6230015 - Thursday 12 March 2015 13:44

Don't you kind of have to be friends first before you get friend zoned? This sounds like it was just a first date where the guy just wasn't interested in the girl.

kylieh72 | 25

#6230023 - Thursday 12 March 2015 14:16

There's also nothing suggesting that he wanted to have a friendship after the date, so it's just plain old rejection.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230122 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:38

I believe that's the exact opposite of "a need one"

By AnFrickenTwan | 19

#6229941 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:42

Seems like a jerk! I'm sure your right guy will come along though!

ExtremeEncounter | 32

#6230103 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:03

Sounds more like he just didn't want to take the relationship any further as he didn't feel anything. Not necessarily a jerk.

By aubamas | 20

#6229943 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:46

he surely isn't a keeper

IAmzephyr | 22

#6230145 - Thursday 12 March 2015 18:12

I don't think he cares either way

By xxlittlemsanime | 24

#6229946 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Seems like an asshole. Don't worry OP your Prince Charming will come soon.

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6230123 - Thursday 12 March 2015 17:39

maybe it was a first date?

Demon_of_Light | 27

#6230407 - Friday 13 March 2015 0:05

Why is he an asshole? It seems to me like they went on a date to see if they were compatible, and he felt like OP was not right for him. If it's not there, you can't force it.

wtffml1979 | 22

#6242291 - Tuesday 24 March 2015 20:43

Your right, but just come out and say it. Either end it or just say we can hang out since we're out anyway and try to have fun. Don't ask if they should keep coming here for dates.

By wtffml1979 | 22

#6229947 - Thursday 12 March 2015 11:48

Better to find out now then after putting a lot of effort into it first. Good luck OP you will be fine.