By kohler9790 - 22/02/2012 01:29 - United States

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 579
You deserved it 3 379

Same thing different taste

Top comments

mega00ant 0

Bacon...who would give up bacon?!? I

She made you go on the diet as well? I wouldn't go through with a vegan diet.


mega00ant 0

Bacon...who would give up bacon?!? I

"You know that Bacon that's like maple? That's got that maple flavour?" "The maple kind, yeah?" Dog Tease!

18 well I cooked that and ate it Awwwwww whyyyyyyy????????

TheEpicMilkMan 13

bacon strips & bacon strips & bacon strips c:

#9 - KFC is shit, though. Go to Popeye's, OP.

Meraklez1013 9

BACON BACON BACON BACON!!!! :D Nothin' like it Bacon (Krystal's commercial) Ba da ba ba ba I lovin' bacon! (McD's) Have it Bacon's way (Burger King) I love Food!!

22 - 'taste' is not a reasonable argument for eating bacon. Petrol smells good to a lot of people. Should we all spend our days sniffing it? It certainly doesn't measure up against ethical, environmental or health reasons as to why eating meat (at least as frequently as most people do in Western society) is a negative thing. It's an argument people use when they don't actually want to consider the reality of where their meat comes from, nor what it truly means for them to choose to consume it.

Wicked361 8

OP tried to stop meat cold turkey!

spongebob1990 3

Thares another way to eat healthy and not starve GO ORGANIC !!!!!

#75: you are totally right and i work on a postof quality control in a meat cutting and packing of pork, trust me after i saw how and what is done... I became vegitarian since :/

TheDrifter 23

That's pretty much the standard PETA argument. I worked for aqi, and I have also delivered the live animals. Unless it's the amount of blood that bothers you, seeing it done won't change anything. They are killed painlessly and humanely. On the health front, Vegans are more likely to suffer from malnutrition related diseases and live a shorter average lifespan than omnivoires. By all means, go organic, it's better than regular, chemical loaded foods, but arguing against cheese, which no animal was harmed to make, is the result of years of indoctrination and a weak, unthinking mind combined.

skyeyez9 24

So, you prefer horrible gas, hot ***** and constant hunger of a vegan diet?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Please direct me to said study showing vegans live shorter lives... Because everything I've read (actual medical studies btw) vegans live on average 10 years longer then omnivores. Also, you DO know how milk is made right? The cow has to be kept pregnant and having calves.. Where to you think male calves go? Yup, into burgers or veal. Eggs are ok though, provided they are pastured. A vegan diet isn't for everyone obviously. Hell I don't even quite follow one. However eating meat daily is actually abnormal. Humans are actually meant to eat meat maybe once a week, if that. Eggs, nuts and legumes are actually much better proteins for us, and closer to our natural diet. Daily meat only occurs since the industrial revolution. The more you know!

but with organic food by the time you're paying for it it starts to expire :( (simpsons reference)

n_epic_fail 14

Vegan is just another name for Alien, because what human is willing to give up steak, fired chicken, bacon, and a good burger with no benifits?!

RochelleRedvines 8

Tell your wife for me to APPRECIATE the fact that she can eat bacon, because I can't. ;_;

I did. And you all might call me crazy, but I've never liked bacon at all. More for everyone else though.

She made you go on the diet as well? I wouldn't go through with a vegan diet.

alliewillie 22

That's my question too - Why the heck did you let HER "put you on" a vegan diet? Can you not make your own choices?

Damn, a vegan diet is brutal. I was gonna justify it by suggesting it might be that op has some health issue but even then vegan seems like overkill. Assuming youre healthy, I would say just have a KFC affair while you "work late"

45, and if he gets caught? he can just say he was having an actual affair with the secretary. Problem solved.

nublets 12

Remember vegetarians and vegans, for every pack of bacon you don't eat ill eat 2!

Becoming a vegan can be very dangerous because the body needs certain amino acids that can only be derived from meat or alternatives like eggs or fish. A vegetarian on the other hand gets all the necessary amino acids.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Actually if you are vegan and eat seaweed and duckweed you can be perfectly healthy with no animal products. Personally I like my farm fresh pastured eggs from my pet chickens so I'm not vegan... But it is possible if you know what you are doing.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Anything besides meat, or produce that comes from an animal? Use google and search up "Vegan". /end smartassrant.

Cubanloverllera 12

there's shit like quiona gives you the worst gas ever

Your wife is crazy, living without meat is really hard without full devotion

And really not healthy either...I think a healthy vegetarian diet can be pulled off, but vegan is taking it a bit too far

A good plant-based diet is actually proven to be healthier than a meaty diet. It is more difficult to eat a healthy vegan diet, but it's absolutely achievable. I think the key thing is that if you don't put any effort into planning your meals and figuring out where you're getting your nutrients from, then you'll probably be unhealthy. That applies to all diets - omnivorous, vegetarian, vegan etc.

TheDrifter 23

Where are you getting your information? A vegan diet lacks a collection of amino acids and complex proteins, found only in animals, that our body needs. All sources of protein are not equal. Unless a vegan uses chemical supplements they will in time develop mental and physical ailments from the deficiencies. On a side note, try googling vegan lifespan and you will find out that every vegan's favorite fact is in fact a lie.

102, That's bad science, I hope you aren't a professional nutritionist or dietitian otherwise I feel extremely bad for your patients. Stop referencing half truths, you may not like the vegan diet but that doesn't mean you should be lying by omission. For those who don't know, you can get all amino acids on a vegan diet by combining your sources or consuming soy products.

I can't go two weeks without eating a steak. I'd probably die if I tried to be a vegan.

I can't go a week and sometimes half a week. But then I am pregnant, so it would be unwise to think of the cows to that extent.

I can't go one day without some sort of beef. Then again, I am a guy so I guess it's excusable.

I can't go one hour without massacring an entire zoo and devouring everything that so much as moves. I'd be so lost if I couldn't feel a river of blood flowing beneath my feet.

61 - I can't go a week without devouring a PETA activist, so we're even.

Statistics show you'd probably live longer.

JayJayAttackAtta 5

Dang it 63, you're the one who eat my brother!

Did you at least get to eat it in your dream?

reddudeover 2

No he woke up at the penultimate moment before the first bite. :p

At least the chicken didn't eat you so you'd have to fight for control of its body and be known as Chicken-Brent for the rest of your life. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs... No?

You may just need to adjust to the new diet?

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

Or he can just tell her to piss off and eat whatever the hell he damn well pleases.

TheDrifter 23

Look at the symptoms. His new "diet" is seriously unbalanced and his body is telling him he NEEDS the missing nutrients. Trying to adjust to that is setting hinself up for health problems and early death.

He might be 400 pounds and on the verge of a heart attack and any symptoms just the removal of toxic food. This guy just wants sympathy without giving any information. Sorry, you probably have health issues she was trying to correct. You even agreed to do it. No one agrees to that without need. Conclusion: it's your fault!

jalapeno64 10

I can't go one week without eating meat