By CUCKOO - 26/10/2013 21:27 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 296
You deserved it 5 026

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Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!

Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.

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Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!

\ 28

She'd be amazed at how many religions/beliefs look at the connection between sex and spirituality...

Yeah, but for some stupid ass reason certain religions only "allow" for specific sex positions. I'm not religious, but even if I was there ain't no way in hell I'd stick to missionary. I don't care who's wrath I'll have to endure, because if I do go to hell I'll be doggy styling it up down there.

Sorry mate, sex makes the spiritual energy better not other way around. It's her excuse to get away from sex when she wants too.

like a boss!

I'm not getting your 'like a boss' did I miss something in the Fml?. not being crass just asking is all!

I believe in that spiritual energy stuff and sex is actually beneficial for it, not negative. FYL OP, sorry you didn't find a compatible lady. :(

I think she's one of the diva, health, always texting, and alway borrowing money type.

Just another strange religious prude, nothing new, avoid at all costs OP

A truly insightful comment. Thank you #2!

This was not a genuine comment. This was a reference of his date saying lol and rofl. I was using that reference to say that the OP's post was funny.

Yes , #2, that is what the FML said.

Okay. Never mind. If I could redact this comment, I would.

I find it odd that you guys dislike the fact that I would like to redact the comment that you guys disliked. There's a big contradiction there.

Rofl. You're right, 19.

#15 They never get it. FML, for reasons unknown, is full of grammar Nazis and others who will vote down any comment containing netspeak or anything less than perfect English, no matter how funny or apt. 'YOLO' makes them foam at the mouth.

Oh you poor thing. Tell us, did she say it "el-oh-el" or "lol" flat?

I've never understood the philosophy of lulz.

She already said that 22. Hella asinine.

So 3 says lol, 22 says lawl. Somehow different, nice fml community.

Stop now before you look more retarded.

Not gonna lie, when I read a text to someone I pronounce it lol flat and always feel so dumb for even reading it as par of the message

skitsmuffin lol and lawl are pronounced differently sound it out before you accuse someone of being as you tried to imply "stupid"

Run now and don't look back.

Blind dates rarely work out into something anyways OP

I was engaged to someone I was set up on a blind date with. Don't be so sure about that!

he said rarely. not never.

You "were" engaged. So it didn't work out.

Well she's probably married no so they wouldn't be engaged anymore

She might be a bit loopy, OP.

Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.

They're usually the most fun in bed though.. Not crazy, but just a wee bit out there. They'll do things to you that we couldn't even be able to imagine it without being a bit freaky. Don't knock it 'til ya try it, then knock again, 'cuz you might just find some homemade cookies on their boobies!

No sex?! Hopefully she grows out of it.. Otherwise she will be a crazy cat lady.

You know, not having sex does not entail dozens of cats. Plenty of people practice abstinence for the entirety of their life, and are happy and productive people who don't own tons of cats.

How many cats do you own?

58 and counting. :P

They are called NUNS

You've obviously never heard of asexuality. Not having sex doesn't automatically turn you into a crazy cat lady.

I don't really believe that no sex makes you a crazy cat lady. It was a joke... That you guys clearly didn't find funny and I accept that.

For every year you go without having sex, you are obligated to adopt one cat.

Spiritual energy isn't the reason she'll never have sex.

I guess she doesn't really have to worry about not having sex. I'd kill get if I spoke to her.

That seems a tad harsh.