Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
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Top comments
mrlaidback992 5
Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!
Ytram_fml 10
Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.
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Comments (129)
stupidbox 9
well,lmao for you.
ashleyylove3 22
On to the next one!
dmklake 14
Does she mean she will never have sex or she is waiting for the right person.
timss4 19
Lol just more proof of how much more people communicate without really communicating
LedBasedPaint 8
Well you're ******!
dawood_k 27
WTF I hope you ran as fast as ******* possible. Shame dude I think you'd might need as physiological help after that dark patch in your life
pedinhuh 23
She's helpless...
imbedderdenu 23
wow...lol.... ;)
underthesea12 24
She will have sex... just not with you!
gring40 10
Not buying all the negative comments; if she seems "perfect for you", you shouldn't give up on her so soon; that's not easy to find. If she comes to like you, she could learn to ditch the text-speak, and as for the sex stuff, it's only the first date!
perdix 31
#96, maybe the OP is a superficial douche that decided the girl was "perfect" based on her looks and disregarding her annoying personality and cray-cray beliefs.