Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
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Top comments
mrlaidback992 5
Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!
Ytram_fml 10
Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.
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Comments (129)
BritLass 15
GET OUT OF THERE!! GET OUT OF THERE NOW!!!
laurend778 7
next!
sammyjanette 17
I don't think there's anything wrong with her ideas about sex. At least she was honest with you so that you could make an informed decision on how to proceed. The lol and rofl are a bit strange though.
syed121417 22
It's her personal belief to not have sex, so whatever but anyone who says lol and Rofl out loud should be arrested.
munchly 17
I think that's the definition of 'not perfect for you'
Foxy_On_Fire 21
Run...fast.
Bludude4 10
Never expect too much out of a blind date...
nitrog100 21
Well, think of it this way: you're getting closer to meeting the right person. Last year, I was friends with a girl that was perfect for me, aside from the fact that she was a homosexual, and just 6 months later, I befriended another amazing girl that was unfortunately already in a relationship but also has major issues with commitment. I'd say gay<afraid of commitment...You'll get there.
nannygirl1990 6
wow. you definitely dodged a bullet there! the saying lol and ROFL might be able to be overlooked as annoying as that is but the no sex thing? nope. no chance of a happy healthy relationship there. I'm not saying sex is everything because its not, but it shouldn't be kept out of the relationship forever! its one of the best things a couple can do together!
Zebediabolical 45
Is it possible that the whole 'no sex' thing is just a test to see how OP reacts and to see if that's all he's looking for out of a relationship? I don't think that's out of the realm of possibility.