Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
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Top comments
mrlaidback992 5
Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!
Ytram_fml 10
Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.
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Comments (129)
Chazzzor 10
Walk away.
Llama_Face89 34
Damn...I was gonna say even with her horrible social flaws at least she's good for a one night stand.....but...
MasqueradePrince 25
I feel like having sex would just combine y'all's spiritual energy, connecting y'all's souls and minds and body's...
ShoyuSauceSoup 26
Some people say that sex is actually very good for somebody's spiritual energy. I doubt if these people would say such a thing about saying "lol" and "rofl" all the time...
luckylucas26 9
You should have left at lol. Anyone who does that spends too much time with their phone.
happyfingers 15
Sooo... Either whoever set you up with her is a jerk who thought it'd be funny or is an idiot to think you'd be into her. OR your date only said those things to make you not like her. Whichever scenario is more appealing to you.
graceinsheepwear 34
Girls love a man who can make them LOL and ROFL.
slkester 12
I think she may have been trolling you......
metalwolf 17
She'll never have sex? Great, she'll never reproduce. If more insane people decided that, the gene pool would be a lot better off.
gunnerblaster 21
Pretty sure she was just feeling you out, to see what kind of man you were - And it seems you've failed. You didn't have a shot in Hell with her, anyways, if you were talking to her about sex on the first date. Men, these days, have no ******* class.