Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
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Top comments
mrlaidback992 5
Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!
Ytram_fml 10
Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.
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Comments (129)
Incitus 9
Don't let your desire for sex ruin what could be a perfect relationship, but feel free to never call her for her using "lol" in conversation.
184886837272837 32
I'm sorry, this may be perceived as a shallow comment from a horny guy, but I'd have a hard time committing to a serious relationship if I knew that we'd never ever have sex. Orgasms are healthy and my right hand can only get me so far. Also it's fairly well accepted that better sex means a better relationship and no sex at all would probably drive me crazy.
luckylucas26 9
Bullshit.
Incitus 9
I was just trying to set up a joke, #37. I honestly believe the same as you and probably half the people who clicked Your Life Sucks. I will be sure not to express false opinions in the future. This has been a learning experience.
184886837272837 32
Alright then :) glad I wasn't a dick about it then :)
Nyx_fml 23
Hearing "rofl" pronounced like that must sound very weird. Maybe she's just trying to make you laugh.
pwnman 33
I think she might've said it as: 1. Ruffle 2. R-O-F-L
JustASmallTownBo_fml 7
I've always heard it pronounced like Rawful
EvilLittleMan 23
It's a little Ruffle there will be no Lays.
blurose 6
Sounds like a vomit sound if you ask me. Not very lady like.
kyu_Q 19
regardless of how it was said using rotfl in a face to face conversation is dumb. like someone else said, run away OP
olpally 33
She's a nut bar. Wow,
pwnman 33
Just think that if you dated her in the future, you won't have any "spiritual energy".
kumarina 35
Yeah just with the sex part, is enough to leave
perdix 31
Tell her, "OMG, I have to have sex because YOLO." Then, tell her WOOTC (walking out on the check.)
Cazz91 21
Perdix... Why were you never around when I needed your advice the most? That is brilliant. To bad I didn't have those ideas to use in order to run away from my own crazy dates. :P
buckdharma 38
Tell her you're very spiritual too and would like to show her your third eye.
MasqueradePrince 25
"Oh my that's the strangest eye I have ever seen"
naomikittyix 3
I'm sorry dude
caden_bro 9
Some people seem great, but as you get to know 'Em they're a little crazy. We've all got our special kind of crazy, you just have to find someone that's the same kind!
LittleSushi_fml 13
Tea regenerates spiritual energy.
caden_bro 9
How is this relevant, constructive, or useful to the OP?
Rainhawk94 27
Op: i have tea Girl: take your clothes off