Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl. The chemistry was just right and she seemed perfect in every way until she staunchly insisted that the earth is flat. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML
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Top comments
mrlaidback992 5
Tell her that someone who says lol and rofl out loud messes with your spiritual energy!
Ytram_fml 10
Well, it will be easier to follow the "don't stick your dick in crazy" rule with this one.
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Comments (129)
AliSama 17
I would date her. I have no issues against her beliefs
blankjack 6
She is doomed to be forever alone!
K_lovesnutella 0
That's ok,that just means she wasn't right for you.I think it's weird she says that stuff but I do feel that if she never wants to have sex,then there is nothing wrong with that.That is her decision in life.Relationships aren't about having sex,they are about being with the person you love.
K_lovesnutella 0
That's ok,that just means she wasn't right for you.I think it's weird she says that stuff but I do feel that if she never wants to have sex,then there is nothing wrong with that.That is her decision in life.Relationships aren't about having sex,they are about being with the person you love.
BabyrooKid 11
****-blocked by a kook. Your life definitely does suck.
effyolife23 9
It was just a blind date. Who cares?
BigDogMatt 13
At least you found out early that she's bat crap crazy! Lol
mikepzz 27
What a ******* psycho... Well no, guess she's just a plain old psycho..
ChelsieAnne1992 0
All I can say is wow to that and about the rofl and lol I have a friend who does that. Just keep looking you'll fing the one for you. I just started dating again so you never know just keep looking keep your head up you'll find her. And the sex thing its not a must have in a relationship dear!
ShenaniganNinja 20
She's probably that crazy because she's in denial of all her pent up sexual frustration. To anyone who says that sex is not a must, that's not a relationship. That's the friend zone.